tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90375511559364590252024-03-13T23:23:11.579-04:00GOD IS SO MUCH BIGGER THAN CANCER...My Breast Cancer Journey And Beyond!Psalms 18. I love you O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my deliverer; My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.Kerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.comBlogger93125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-794645943450758552010-06-22T08:46:00.002-04:002010-06-22T08:51:50.260-04:00Puppies!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiagfFt4LQAaY3VvG07_NK2JksCpjINic-o5EBwMUqdQCOAhuv8PzgVi-ICTRnZ_XlZ-8zFqtU_N_kQI7EL223lXJvca7_8S1FkyxFKrG1Dj3l3sIrOmY_M9VVzgb8o-dbbZRlkCzRGiyw/s1600/closeup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiagfFt4LQAaY3VvG07_NK2JksCpjINic-o5EBwMUqdQCOAhuv8PzgVi-ICTRnZ_XlZ-8zFqtU_N_kQI7EL223lXJvca7_8S1FkyxFKrG1Dj3l3sIrOmY_M9VVzgb8o-dbbZRlkCzRGiyw/s320/closeup.jpg" /></a></div><br />
I have not written in some time because we have been happily busy raising 5 puppies. <br />
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Our two shelties, Stradivarius and Mandolyn (Strad and Mandy) had the puppies on May 19th. I can honestly say I am amazed by the dam's instincts when it came to handling the birthing process. She had each puppy in her dog crate and then spent time nursing each one before moving on to the next one. She would carry each puppy over to a kiddie pool we had set up as a bed, drop it in there and then return to her crate to have her next pup for one on one time with the newest born. She has known throughout exactly what to do. How can anyone believe that instinct, creation, the world around us is all one big cosmic accident? It boggles my mind. Intelligent design no doubt exists. For me this is just one more bit of proof (among many) for it. Hope you all are enjoying the summer as much as we are! Lots of love,<br />
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KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-50983744157530224672010-05-13T17:16:00.004-04:002010-05-13T18:30:51.864-04:00Empowered!Yesterday one of my girls flew past me and dropped something on the counter. "Here's the glove, mom!" she yelled, not skipping a beat and racing out the back door. I was in the middle of cooking dinner and looked over. Then I had to sigh. This was the same glove she had asked me to get for her yesterday. It was a winter glove already packed away in the basement for the season. She wanted to use it to dig in the dirt. I had told her then that she would have to put it up after she used it. Rather than just put the glove back where it belonged, "Here's the glove, Mom," apparently was her way of trying to get me to do it for her. I poked my head out the door (and for what seemed like an eternity) nagged and eventually threatened discipline on her until she finally put it away. Yes it seems like an awfully big deal over a little glove. It would have been SO much easier just to take care of it myself, but it was the principle of the matter. I thought to myself, "What do I need to do to empower my children to take care of their things, to be proactive and think ahead about things. Then I had a revelation. <br />
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How much am I (and many people) like that? How often do we not just want to pray and all of our messes, chores, and problems just be cleaned up for us. <br />
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That day I had been to the doctor and had a bone density test done. The doctor said I have the bone density of someone in their 50's and a condition called ostepenia which is a precursor to osteoporosis. My hip is the worst area. She said I'd be heading for a hip fracture if I didn't do something soon and she put me on Boniva. Apparently the chemo can really deteriorate your bone quickly. And I have a weakness for diet cokes and my small bone structure just made it all worse. So here I go again, feeling guilty just like I did when I first got diagnosed. It's my fault. I've drunk too much diet coke. Never mind the things I did right like work out all through my cancer treatment. I just saw a nutritionist recently who told me I was eating too much dairy. None of that matters. It's just how it is. I just wanted to throw up my hands and say "Haven't I taken enough pills for a woman not yet 40? Lord knows between the two of us Randy and I have seen 5 doctors just this week. I honestly wanted to pray for the Lord to just magically take it away because I am tired of dealing with all these little problems. I wanted to ask, "Is there some lesson here that I am just not getting? Is there something I should know? What am I doing wrong, Lord? Why won't all these little problems just GO AWAY??!!'<br />
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And these are little problems I know. Then you feel guilty for being frustrated by the little problems. As if that will help. NOT. The good news is that the bone loss is reversible. I just need to do something about it. I need to get empowered. So while I am working to get my kids empowered, I am working to get myself empowered too. That's the lesson here. That's the revelation. And how lucky am I to have the chance to do something about it. So the diet coke is being banished from the house. I have to take a pill once a month. The number of workouts per week will have to increase even more. Yet another learning and growing experience in more ways than one. I am SUCH a work in progress, but I know that means He has good plans for me. Lots of love,<br />
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KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-77404567072074050142010-03-31T13:58:00.002-04:002010-04-02T17:12:24.528-04:00Bunnies Everywhere- UpdatedToday I am meeting my friend Amanda Gillenwater in a parking lot to hand off to her a bunch of bunnies that I have picked up. Why? It was the wish of a little girl named Samantha. I have mentioned her on the blog before. She battled cancer and went to be with the Lord almost 5 months ago now. It was her wish that bunnies be given during the Easter season to children who are in the hospital and are battling cancer as she did. Here is a link to her web page. <a href="http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sammiehartsfield">http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sammiehartsfield</a>. Amanda wanted to do this not only to honor Sammie but to encourage her grieving mother. <br />
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And so with a car full of bunnies, we are passing it on. I am constantly amazed by the little things that make such a difference and can touch so many people's lives. So here's to Sammy and all the bunnies being collected in her name.<br />
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Update: Amanda contacted me last night and told me that the local Walmart on Millertown Pike had given 100 bunnies to the bunny drive! When we got there this morning there were 125, plus the ones she had donated through friends!!Yeah!! All together (with our four kids/great helpers in tow) we dropped off 200 bunnies to the hospital this morning. Amanda's goal had been 175. The rest will be given to children visiting the ER over the Easter weekend. We'll have pictures to follow. What a blessing this experience was on our hearts. Lots of love,<br />
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KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-67283313250617673442010-03-27T11:18:00.003-04:002010-03-28T13:46:55.915-04:00Ouch! Smile! Ouch! Smile!This sounds like a weird topic heading for the blog I know but that is how I have been feeling lately. <br />
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Things still are going well. I go weekly for my expander fill ups. Laura and Leslie go with me. They hang out in a corner of the room playing their hand held video games while I lie down on a table. There are two nurses (one on either side of me), both holding a big syringe with a long needle. They inject me on both sides simultaneously and I find myself (as I have many times in the past) admiring the lovely ceiling above. The whole experience is rather surreal. I have lost count now on how many times I have had a "fill up."I have had it pretty easy with the expanders and no complications thus far. The expanders can move around alittle and one is partially under my left arm. It is now pressing on the same nerves that bothered me when the cancerous lymph node was still around. It doesn't hurt, just tingles constantly like whenever you bump your funny bone. My chest feels heavy especially when I lie down on my back. It feels like my back muscles must somehow be connected to my chest muscles because I get neck, shoulder and back discomfort every fill up. Please understand I'm not sharing all this to complain.<br />
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As I've said time and time again, I have been so fortunate. I guess I just feel it's important to share what it is like, this getting back to "normal" and the way I once was. So that's the "ouch part." It's all part of the journey. And the getting back to normal is the "smile" part. It's knowing the end of it all is in sight. I talked to my doctor about reoccurances last week and told her I'd been worried about lots of aches and pains lately. She said if the cancer comes back it would not be "the achies" but "the ouchies." My ouchies are more like "achies" and I will take those any day. Lots of love,<br />
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KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-46697900687935352072010-03-09T19:50:00.018-05:002010-03-09T20:17:51.548-05:00More Young Survivors Conference Pictures<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmhbleK2dzo5XeeapUzKARqRZ5aBLhP-cOU5tykOaY3eZUzfNvBHUpZP06aR8x3wElJcqMiUV6QFuVG6FDibx9Bb-QVQkWRt_DwMDUxO1EOr8Lri6IM97k10auMQa598p6sgXxgGJne1o/s1600-h/1000047_1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="cssfloat: left; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmhbleK2dzo5XeeapUzKARqRZ5aBLhP-cOU5tykOaY3eZUzfNvBHUpZP06aR8x3wElJcqMiUV6QFuVG6FDibx9Bb-QVQkWRt_DwMDUxO1EOr8Lri6IM97k10auMQa598p6sgXxgGJne1o/s320/1000047_1.JPG" vt="true" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Here are some more pics from the Young Survivor's Conference I attended in Atlanta. Aren't the women beside me from the Thompson Cancer Young Survivors group all beautiful? Who would have guessed looking at us what we've all been through. What an amazing group of strong women. They are all such a huge source of inspiration to me. God bless the 900 survivors that were at the conference and all the others that are out there!!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbvXru_wNAAmCYvBIOMLq0XRB-x2UiitDUTELOClxioP1Oad0iSidGAMhIpl0TVoTSMVKTUxcnRiZmyFq44zhL1vIIS-1PVRjJfuyvSiTwuLfXEc3Pt4balsmHaDryXllfsmEswybI800/s1600-h/1000014.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbvXru_wNAAmCYvBIOMLq0XRB-x2UiitDUTELOClxioP1Oad0iSidGAMhIpl0TVoTSMVKTUxcnRiZmyFq44zhL1vIIS-1PVRjJfuyvSiTwuLfXEc3Pt4balsmHaDryXllfsmEswybI800/s320/1000014.jpg" vt="true" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4cOXolhXwrvXNio8qB7CInC6WyxpoaOZz1fLTo_R9JvT53DrDUMfis9PYC8egFtJBLYRpmWFSS-mbJtZViaaN7wcWppJgvTzyCpZob0ynMXFYU1SrPzWgORIP8HLiFB7Ef7mA7qGP1Tc/s1600-h/1000019_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4cOXolhXwrvXNio8qB7CInC6WyxpoaOZz1fLTo_R9JvT53DrDUMfis9PYC8egFtJBLYRpmWFSS-mbJtZViaaN7wcWppJgvTzyCpZob0ynMXFYU1SrPzWgORIP8HLiFB7Ef7mA7qGP1Tc/s320/1000019_2.jpg" vt="true" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvO5o-V0qweYQCjhb3agnAo_Tyksyi9MZBgAhdd0r7O8eKud7u47RV_iGJeMZJsnKZ488gf2klg7srQfoP9yGZZVuXbYhsv2dgCYZ2EPZJqqilSxnue2FXUsgmHr0zAUzV6qPQkRiZN5U/s1600-h/1000057_1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvO5o-V0qweYQCjhb3agnAo_Tyksyi9MZBgAhdd0r7O8eKud7u47RV_iGJeMZJsnKZ488gf2klg7srQfoP9yGZZVuXbYhsv2dgCYZ2EPZJqqilSxnue2FXUsgmHr0zAUzV6qPQkRiZN5U/s320/1000057_1.JPG" vt="true" /></a></div>Kerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-63113060142811015842010-03-01T20:12:00.014-05:002010-03-01T20:47:29.470-05:00Journeys<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSkDXqoLaf5ovdBDUTsFNZcesdsexEvovePQWodZbhqcRdm-FG07f1koKRrypw0dUWfiTbdJfVmecItQbEwPJGXOszH8OXHniwc2-nCpWQQ5noW5PoRWkBvTIKd4XcgII4GLPTSJVca78/s1600-h/atlantabcconference.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" kt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSkDXqoLaf5ovdBDUTsFNZcesdsexEvovePQWodZbhqcRdm-FG07f1koKRrypw0dUWfiTbdJfVmecItQbEwPJGXOszH8OXHniwc2-nCpWQQ5noW5PoRWkBvTIKd4XcgII4GLPTSJVca78/s320/atlantabcconference.jpg" /></a></div>I have just returned from the Young Survivor's breast cancer conference in Atlanta and it was truly incredible. I was there with my sister and niece as well as a bunch of sister survivors from the Thompson Cancer support group. Here's a picture of our support group. <br />
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The conference was truly a blast...so educational and inspiring. There were more than 900 women there who had felt what I've felt and experienced what I've experienced in the bc battle.<br />
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In addition my sister Shannon and niece Heather and I had some adventures around the city of Atlanta. There was a crazy new GPS system to get used to, the Hard Rock Cafe, the Phipps Plaza Mall with $3000 purses in stores like Saks 5th Ave, Versace and Valentino which took window shopping to a new level. There was lots of laughter, lots of hugs, lots of memories made. <br />
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At the conference I attended seminars on triple negative bc, clinical trials, and nutrition. All of them were very helpful. I picked up lots of great goodies to give out in my chemo kits. I met two authors, both of them mothers, who have written inspiring books on bc. The first is Lori Sorbo who wrote Eleven Years Later. She has battled 5 different kinds of cancer in the last eleven years. The second book is called A Mommy Can Love You From Anywhere by Jenny Sugg. I picked it up to give to the family of a sister survivor who couldn't make it to the conference.<br />
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Sadly I received word today that this member of our Thompson Cancer group just passed away. I first met her at the Women's Expo in March. She amazed me on that day by her spirit and faith. For many months afterward she would encourage us other survivors at our support meetings even in the midst of what she was facing. Here's to Missy B., a sister survivor in the truest sense. Lots of love,<br />
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KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-42127220651635550252010-02-19T20:23:00.001-05:002010-02-19T20:24:38.882-05:00Time Marches OnHello! <br />
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In the last two weeks we have experienced two funerals and a death on each side of the family. They are just another reminder of how precious life is. Time is truly marching on. I used to take it for granted, but I don't anymore. Breast cancer has made me feel old, but I am trying to combat that feeling by eating better, exercising and following through with my weekly reconstruction expander "fill ups." <br />
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Through it all Laura and Leslie continue to be real troopers. They have decided the apple cider at the plastic surgeon's office is the best anywhere and don't seem phased by all the needles and injections. The last time one of them complained about a boo boo (that could not been seen with even a microscope) I pointed out the scar crossing half my back. It not only stopped the whining, but they were also quite impressed. I do believe they think I'm as tough as Rambo. I've had some qualms about showing them these things. I have found though that there are alot of life lessons that can be learned from it and that my girls, for their age, are far stronger than I could ever be. <br />
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Just this week I have connected with three more breast cancer patients, one of them I believe was a Godincidence. <br />
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The middle of last week I decided that my hair has grown out long enough to have a haircut. In the midst of all the sadness we've been dealing with I decided to call the girl who had cut my hair for some 20 years and schedule an appointment. The last time I had seen her was late last January when she had given me a short haircut in anticipation of my first chemo treatment. Well imagine my surprise when she called back and said she had gotten home that evening from a lumpectomy. She too has breast cancer. Of all days to call, that was the day I called. She is doing great, but once again I have experienced a coincidence that I don't believe was a coincidence. <br />
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Next weekend my sister Shannon, my niece, and I are headed to Atlanta for a breast cancer conference of young survivors. I have been looking forward to it for a couple months now. Please pray that I can make the most of the opportunity and get lots of great information to pass along to others. Thanks for continuing to cheer me on. Lots of love,<br />
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KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-72263569603193001912010-02-13T13:21:00.005-05:002010-02-14T07:38:53.901-05:00The Black CloudHello!<br />
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I always try to focus on the bright side of life, but I would be lying if I said the last few weeks have been easy. Oddly enough the surgery which I mentioned in the last post was really a very minor thing. I have been sore, but that was expected and I was able to resume normal activities within a week or two. <br />
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What's been hard is the illness and the loss we have experienced so much recently. My uncle suddenly died a week and a half ago. My whole side of the family went up to Johnson City last weekend for the funeral services. Recently there have been a couple accidents in the family and both of Randy's grandmothers have been seriously ill. One is having pacemaker surgery on Monday and the other is now gravely ill. Sometimes it seems like too much to bear. It feels like there is a black cloud that has descended over us all in the past year, a plague of sorts that just won't go away. <br />
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We know these loved ones are saved, but the loss and illnesses are still so very hard. <br />
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About a month ago our pastor preached on heaven. He talked about some pretty radical ideas...that heaven might be on a renewed earth and not a spirtual realm...that we might have physical (though new & perfected) bodies....that we might use some of the technology, hobbies and skills we so enjoyed on earth. This was not your stereotypical description of heaven with everyone wearing white robes and strumming harps. Our pastor referenced a book called Heaven by Randy Alcorn. We began reading it about three weeks ago. Randy and I have talked about how that was another Godincidence. <br />
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I so long to encourage my children and family members through all of this, but the truth of it is that I am tired...so, so very tired. On top of it all, the back of my neck has been hurting. It is probably just stress-induced, but it has brought those old fears of reoccurance to the forefront again. <br />
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I know my uncle is in a better place. I know Randy's Mamaws are being showered in prayer and in God's hands. We are in so many ways so truly blessed. I just really want those clouds to part and the sun to shine through again. Lots of love,<br />
KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-54717192277939190582010-01-25T10:10:00.007-05:002010-01-25T10:37:29.841-05:00Reconstruction Junction aka "Look Out Bionic Woman! Here I Come!"Hello dear family and friends!<br />
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Tomorrow morning I am having my first reconstructive surgery. I am a little nervous, but also excited. Alot of people I've told about reconstruction automatically assume that it is just breast implant surgery, but it is not. That is a later surgery. <br />
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Tomorrow's surgery is the first of three surgeries and the most complicated. The surgeon will take skin and muscle from my back and transplant it over my left chest to "rebuild" it. As I understand it, the radiation and scaring has damaged my original skin. By replacing the skin they can implant a temporary muscle expander which will have to be injected with saline on 6-7 different occassions to fully stretch the skin. I have surfed the net doing research so I know what to expect with the scars when I come out of surgery. It seems a bit morbid I know but it did serve me well last time with the mastectomy and prevented some of the initial shock. Plus I have already had the muscle expander put in on the right side so I know what it feels like and will only have one side affected this go around. <br />
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As I picture myself on the operating table one funny thing is I keep having the themes from those 70's shows 'The Six Milion Dollar Man" and "The Bionic Woman" running through my head. Obviously there is no comparison here but it has made me laugh. <br />
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Laura and Leslie are up at Aunt Mitzi's house. It is strangely quiet around here and we miss them, but Randy and I are thankful that they are safe, happy and having lots of fun.<br />
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I really appreciated everyone's comments about my cancerversary in the last post. I have decided to celebrate it each year by dropping off a care package at the cancer ward where I was treated. It seems like a fitting way to celebrate. I am mailing out two today. One to a bc sister and one to a child with cancer. <br />
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It is so nice to be getting on with life. I have become quite the organic eating, vegetable-chopping chef around here. I hope to participate in the Knoxville Covenant Health 5 K coming up late March. We are planning family trips again...looking ahead to the future while still enjoying the moment. Despite the fact that I was diagnosed with cancer and Randy with diabetes this year, I actually have aspirations that I will be "better than I was before....better, stronger, faster." When all this is said and done, maybe I will be healthier. I may be only 5 feet 1 inches tall but every bit of me cries out, "Look out Bionic woman! Here I come!" Lots of love to all,<br />
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KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-24587753371566905472010-01-15T15:54:00.005-05:002010-01-18T19:41:50.988-05:00My 1st CancerversarySaturday January 16th is my first cancerversary. It will be a year ago from the day when I was officially diagnosed with breast cancer. <br />
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A doctor actually looked me in the eye on January 7th of last year and told me I had it, but I didn't officially get diagnosed until the test results came back on the 16th. <br />
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January of last year was truly the most awful month in my life. Ironically, it was also the most miraculous month of my life. It was when things were the worst that I felt God's love and presence the most.<br />
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I have a friend whose house burned down a few weeks ago, two days after Christmas. She said whenever she gets frightened or worried about where they are going to live day to day and how they are going to get by she can immediately feel a presence intervene on her behalf. She described it as an invisible hand that comes between her and those dark emotions and holds them back just when she needs it. I thought that was such a beautiful description.<br />
January 16 will always be my cancerversary. I would like to mark it by doing something special and meaningful every year. A few weeks ago I read a story in the newspaper about a woman whose son died long ago. On the anniversary of his death, she goes and visits his favorite park. She's been doing it for 30+ years. I would like my cancerversary to be like that. <br />
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Hope the new year is being as good a blessing to you as it is to me. Lots of love,<br />
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KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-75229069825317323542010-01-06T13:56:00.010-05:002010-01-06T14:19:39.718-05:00Wanting Justice in a Fallen WorldLast night I couldn't sleep because I was so mad. <br />
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We have two toy collies. They are confined to the yard by a pet fence. Monday morning a big German Shepherd wandered onto our property and attacked our 11 pound male named Stradivarius. (Our little dog with the big heart and the big name). Strad is the sweetest dog. He always lets our female Mandy eat first. When the girls were little they used to give him rides in a little doll stroller. <br />
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Around 8 a.m. we heard a commotion. When we opened the door Strad bolted inside, bleeding profusely. I saw the other dog leaving our property and heading down the street. He had ripped a hole in Strad's side. As you can imagine this was quite a traumatic sight for Laura and Leslie. I was pretty sure though it was not life-threatening, so I reassured my girls and we rushed Strad to the vet. She confirmed he was the victim of a dog attack. He was kept at the vet's office all day while she gave him anesthesia, performed surgery, implanted a drain and stitched him up. <br />
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When we got home around 10 a.m. the dog was still wandering the neighborhood. I called my next door neighbor who also has dogs to warn him about it. I had a very clear description of the dog, including the width and color of his collar. It turned out my neighbor's son had seen that dog wandering around in our yard before dawn and he knew who it belonged to. It belonged to a relative of his who lives on a neighboring street. The dog had chased his sister in law and bitten a total of 3 people in the neighborhood recently. The owner had been ordered by the court to keep the dog on a leash or in a fenced in yard. He had basically boasted to my neighbor that he let the dog out at night anyway because "no one is outside after 10 p.m." <br />
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Strad stayed all day at the vet. Following anesthesia and surgery they stitched him up. Fortunately no vital organs were injured. He came home with a drain sticking out of his side and stitches with a scar over 4 inches long covering an one side of his body. He couldn't walk at all for 24 hours. We have thus far had to pay $350 and have at least two more follow up visits to remove the drain and the stitching. I anticipate we'll end up spending at least $500 total. <br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkkDnL_iXHK7Y2FD9Jmo0JVBxutgTIES30JbVwj4FjFQR5EAjkoE-n-a6KEJ-7_9GoJJ0NXNuK2D7Ei6SQni92A5s0n379d7g6L1IWHEsJ_Nbb01RlS0LplsutVu4KEcOjnf_ISgg4xKM/s1600-h/RCA_0001(2).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ps="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkkDnL_iXHK7Y2FD9Jmo0JVBxutgTIES30JbVwj4FjFQR5EAjkoE-n-a6KEJ-7_9GoJJ0NXNuK2D7Ei6SQni92A5s0n379d7g6L1IWHEsJ_Nbb01RlS0LplsutVu4KEcOjnf_ISgg4xKM/s320/RCA_0001(2).JPG" /></a><br />
</div>And the owner's reaction to the news when his relative called him and told him what had happened? He didn't care. In fact he got mad that my neighbor told us who the dog belonged to. I called the police and filled out a police report. The policeman visited the owner and warned him about keeping the dog restrained. Then he told me unless I had witnessed the attack there was nothing he could do. He said next time if the dog ventured onto our property we had the right to defend ourselves and shoot it. And that was the best advice he could give. No consequences for the owner who violated the court order. No restitution. That was it.<br />
<br />
My kids are now afraid to go outside. Every time I open the front door I find myself looking anxiously around to make sure that dog isn't around. There are at least three toddlers in our neighborhood. I am concerned for their safety too. My kids are asking me if someone is going to punish that owner or if he is going to pay our vet bills. When I told them I didn't know they said, "We need to call Judge Judy." <br />
<br />
Right now all I can tell them is that "what goes around comes around" and "you reap what you sow." It doesn't alleviate the anger but I know it is a true principle. I don't know how some people live with themselves sometimes. At least we can sleep well at night. Now that is a blessing. Lots of love,<br />
<br />
KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-54055283995841650182009-12-27T17:47:00.009-05:002009-12-27T21:52:57.923-05:00What I learned through my Breast Cancer YearHello!<br /><br />As many of you will recall on my first visit to my breast surgeon, she said that 2009was going to be my "breast cancer year." She said it was going to be yucky and rough. I should just write that year off and look ahead to resuming a normal life once the cancer was gone. It is certainly true that 2009 was a stinky year for us. Not only did we deal with my cancer diagnosis, but we had other accidents and medical conditions arise in our family that almost seemed too much to bear in light of what we were already dealing with. <br /><br />The good news is that all our loved ones are alive and well and that, despite it all, I don't want to just "write off" 2009. Why? Well because there were some good things that happened in 2009 and because I can certainly say I am leaving it a wiser and more spiritually mature person than I was a year ago. Here are several things I learned during my breast cancer year. Some of these I knew anyway but having had cancer (seeing what I saw and experiencing what I experienced) really drove them home. I have to admit that on others of these (sweating the small stuff for example) I am still very much a work in progress, but then if we are really growing spiritally aren't we all? <br /><br />DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF Did the cake you baked collapse right before the Christmas party? Is the laundry pile taller than you and your to do list a mile long? Sweating the small stuff is not worth it. Do your best. Do what you can when you can and then let it go. <br /><br />TAKE OFF THOSE BLINDERS! You think you got it bad? Just visit a cancer ward. Read the blog of a child with cancer. There is always someone out there in a worse situation than you are. If you take the time to care, you will see those people in need everywhere. <br /><br />REMEMBER YOUR BLESSINGS My pastor said this once: Stand in the middle of your house. close your eyes and then reopen them and imagine that everyone and everything around you has a big red bow on it. Everyone and everything in your life is a blessing, a gift on loan from God. <br /><br />HAPPINESS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU ACHIEVE. IT IS AN ATTITUDE. My Internist told me if I had a good attitude my chances of coming through the fight well were higher. I tell recently diagnosed women that I was able to live a full life on chemo. What I learned from it was that your good days will usually outnumber your bad ones, especially if your attitude is right. <br /><br />WE ARE ALL DYING. Live a healthy lifestyle so you can feel good about how you have treated your body as a temple of the holy spirit. I have some guilt for being a little overweight, eating alot of processed foods and such. At the same time I know women who did everything right and still got cancer. No one deserves cancer. You cannot be so healthy as to forever avoid cancer. We are all just mortals and the reality is we are all dying. Life is short. Enjoy every moment. Every day you wake up feeling good and can do what you enjoy is a privilege. <br /><br />BE A PIPE AND NOT A POT. Be a giver not a taker. We all have spiritual gifts. Discover what yours is and then act on it. It will bring joy to your heart. This often means stepping outside of your comfort zone. Solomon asked for wisdom. If I could ask for one gift from God it would be to always know what to say and what to do to encourage another person. I feel ill equipped in that department. Yet I have often found that when those moments arrive, if you are committed to doing something, the words and actions will come to you. Sometimes it is not so much that you say or do just the right thing but that you show you care by DOING SOMETHING. <br /><br />GOD IS BIGGER. He hears our prayers. Open your eyes and listen. Look for the coincidences that aren't coincidences but spiritual interventions in your life. God is bigger than anything. You are not in this fallen world with its hardships and uncontrollable circumstances by yourself. He is with you. Accept him as your Savior now because you can't do life on your own. <br /><br />For the first time I am truly thrilled that a year in my life is over. Randy and I have always been "watch the ball drop" sort of people on New Years. This year we really mean to celebrate the New Year. It is afterall such a gift. Blessings to you all for the New Year! Lots of love,<br /><br />KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-89849079588243517702009-12-24T10:55:00.004-05:002009-12-24T11:12:18.375-05:00Merry Christmas to All!!It's Christmas Eve! Last night our family drove around town in our p.j.'s and looked at Christmas lights. I have been wanting to do it for years and we finally got to do it. It was so much fun. We then stopped at Starbucks for some of their decadent hot chocolate. This morning we have been baking up a storm. Laura and Leslie are filled with anticipation about what Santa will bring. (I am hoping for some sleep tonight but am not counting on it) ;). Last year the girls started waking us up every hour at 1 a.m. and we gave up around 5 a.m. I have a feeling we won't make it that long this year. What a blessing it is to be here able to enjoy Christmas. <br /><br />Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! <br /><br />And most of all, Happy Birthday Jesus!! <br /><br />Lots of love,<br /><br />KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-15830097950694314222009-12-17T09:03:00.016-05:002009-12-18T14:17:38.631-05:00Why God Gave Me Great SistersHello! <br /><br />Yesterday out of the blue I had a question pop into my head. "Why did God give me my sisters?" <br /><br />God has given me two of the best women in the world as my sisters. God has also given me alot of wonderful spirit sisters, women who I have connected with who prayed for me and cheered me on in my fight. I believe God brought these women into my life for lots of reasons. One reason I believe was to show me how to be a "spirit sister" to others. One way I do this is to follow the stories of these remarkable women and pray for them daily. Many have links on the side of my page. Others I follow on caringbridge. <br /><br />There are two whose links I want to share with you today. The first is Emily, a young mom earning her PhD with a fantastic fighting spirit. www.emesurvivor.wordpress.com The second is Sarah, an amazing 24 year old with awesome faith. www.sarahkathryndavis.blogspot.com<br /><br />Please pray for them and lift them up in the fight. Lots of love,<br /><br />KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-56314944874067708292009-12-05T14:47:00.017-05:002009-12-05T15:57:20.644-05:00The Best Christmas Ever<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKzlKJplfzoZd3osMtPg3cDJVrg8VvvwfKeLBudKw24jvIbz_VXzS3didupFMt7dHatSA-k33P8F6fM20Fy6QaSBwIwQVvO5yHP70wWGZw1s7HM5DyXtjqpqAckJ2o33Eu1eet_3w64EU/s1600-h/RCA_0025+-+Copy.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKzlKJplfzoZd3osMtPg3cDJVrg8VvvwfKeLBudKw24jvIbz_VXzS3didupFMt7dHatSA-k33P8F6fM20Fy6QaSBwIwQVvO5yHP70wWGZw1s7HM5DyXtjqpqAckJ2o33Eu1eet_3w64EU/s200/RCA_0025+-+Copy.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411856200645051778" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPUAPPRPg5swro_MrOZHPrkIgWqdpjY9cjZaT5wYioE0NAZkYA3Ifw9WSVe5u0ND2qp-QbSpt7310rU01m9MjzxnYrRFk8xoAFOQMaSVfZUlXqVoU92cTDG3eL1JSRLA0BB5Q8CGhFGLo/s1600-h/RCA_0038.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPUAPPRPg5swro_MrOZHPrkIgWqdpjY9cjZaT5wYioE0NAZkYA3Ifw9WSVe5u0ND2qp-QbSpt7310rU01m9MjzxnYrRFk8xoAFOQMaSVfZUlXqVoU92cTDG3eL1JSRLA0BB5Q8CGhFGLo/s200/RCA_0038.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411856009583707906" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpMtKViCIA3_R9ePLKfM48Oa0MpYocNIMHqZuYtfYSUCy-AekmZGatb-ZQXvPBIgxWWN85oh_uJuF22KrfXNFko4ZhgdMoOxaFRTSQtp1NoUc_gMoeXU65p4asFbaqB5I8Heer8XX1Y6g/s1600-h/RCA_0041.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpMtKViCIA3_R9ePLKfM48Oa0MpYocNIMHqZuYtfYSUCy-AekmZGatb-ZQXvPBIgxWWN85oh_uJuF22KrfXNFko4ZhgdMoOxaFRTSQtp1NoUc_gMoeXU65p4asFbaqB5I8Heer8XX1Y6g/s200/RCA_0041.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411855242389045234" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_LxUGVv2PPB7t4Pw8wtKTNC7aq_IxmPMJVpcsB1I8WD68MKGcalloEyQSt2EeLeOTZlAMWHUBGIRziNIjBc9QJo3AFKUENV1pLGRB9iVoCMJ7eUKJUBYman-gz5uGz-KO3mFrr1N6WJk/s1600-h/RCA_0039.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_LxUGVv2PPB7t4Pw8wtKTNC7aq_IxmPMJVpcsB1I8WD68MKGcalloEyQSt2EeLeOTZlAMWHUBGIRziNIjBc9QJo3AFKUENV1pLGRB9iVoCMJ7eUKJUBYman-gz5uGz-KO3mFrr1N6WJk/s200/RCA_0039.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411855023729266562" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxmCAUIOZItRmpbzHOWB-yjIMDG1oKCEH-LfykJnLOPl8vGvqvWaYUTgaqie6lDmOiLtAaFoYtZwX_dn5syX8-WShFE8B75yQVXH5CVlsyejaEwbPVlT_kmX7iy9VbAjpz0Sxzqx1ditw/s1600-h/RCA_0013.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxmCAUIOZItRmpbzHOWB-yjIMDG1oKCEH-LfykJnLOPl8vGvqvWaYUTgaqie6lDmOiLtAaFoYtZwX_dn5syX8-WShFE8B75yQVXH5CVlsyejaEwbPVlT_kmX7iy9VbAjpz0Sxzqx1ditw/s200/RCA_0013.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411849927844227602" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg1d7re-4jhZsZdgpdxNrIC3EdPDeWiViBrHvq3MqUK_9lc_h60wa3awJzRBq6r2WtkU6qxpi_zBF9OMbg2BWrL6lDjbldMBEQTL9h5ZFC0Zj6DVZr_MnE2QYFUd7G891RQrRi_Hhos3A/s1600-h/RCA_0014.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg1d7re-4jhZsZdgpdxNrIC3EdPDeWiViBrHvq3MqUK_9lc_h60wa3awJzRBq6r2WtkU6qxpi_zBF9OMbg2BWrL6lDjbldMBEQTL9h5ZFC0Zj6DVZr_MnE2QYFUd7G891RQrRi_Hhos3A/s200/RCA_0014.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411849323361209474" /></a><br /><br />Hello!<br /><br />It feels good to post again. It has been way too long. Thanksgiving, Leslie's birthday as well as end of the semester school projects and activities have kept me busy. <br /><br />I have actually been dreading the Christmas season a little bit this time around. I was diagnosed last year a few weeks after Christmas. The onset of the cold weather has reminded me of the last time I felt cold when I was in the midst of all my chemo trips. I know it is silly really but it makes it hard to get in the "Christmas spirit." <br /><br />As we were putting up the tree last weekend it struck me how differently I view the world now than I did last Christmas. It seems like I was somewhat naive back then, plugging through the holidays with blinders on while the whole time I knew I had a big lump under my arm. Never once at that time did it ever even cross my mind that it was cancer. I knew cancer could happen to me. I knew bad things could happen, but I was just too busy to even stop and think about it. I am certainly not that way now. Every odd or unexpected pain now makes me wonder. It never did before. And so it has been hard lately to feel much Christmas cheer. <br /><br />All of that changed today though when we experienced our first snowfall. It wasn't a particularly large snowfall, maybe and inch or two, but the snow was perfect for lots of family fun. We were all out this morning building a snowman. It was the coolest one ever I might add thanks to perfect conditions and a snowman kit (which was a Christmas present from my sister's family three years ago) that we were finally able to use to its fullest. The snowman had two faces, one in the front that we could see from our house window and one in the back close to the road for cars driving by to see. We had so much fun. When we finally came inside for some hot cholocate Leslie said, "This is going to be the best Christmas ever." And she is so right. As usual I was letting myself dwell on my cancer past and all the negative aspects of the season...all the hustle, bustle and work. But this morning I got a reminder of just how lucky I am. I get to experience it all...writing out all those Christmas cards, the packed shopping malls, the wrapping, the baking, the feasting and most especially celebrating the birth of our blessed Lord and Savior. I am constantly amazed at how my kids help me put things into perspective sometimes. So come Christmas! Come! Merry Christmas everyone! Lots of love,<br /><br />KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-54042309825134184262009-11-15T16:53:00.007-05:002009-11-15T17:11:30.907-05:00More Race for the Cure Pictures!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxQtwaSTmI1c7RyH3XScgyfWykcUkwDvSK4sjtgJ7ivNcqFMok8tNacvdxgFL84KWagQORHxE9GukN94x5qo_AU1ZUgmelk4RDwhIv4bZQy6oDHLw2szZpdjQpB5y447dcXPOUI2wwO0A/s1600-h/family.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 243px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxQtwaSTmI1c7RyH3XScgyfWykcUkwDvSK4sjtgJ7ivNcqFMok8tNacvdxgFL84KWagQORHxE9GukN94x5qo_AU1ZUgmelk4RDwhIv4bZQy6oDHLw2szZpdjQpB5y447dcXPOUI2wwO0A/s320/family.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404456063729829346" /></a><br />Here are some pictures from Race For the Cure 2009! Many thanks to Amanda Gillenwater for taking the great shots!! Way to go team!!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbiiuVcbaJh0S1bV7kUDlYI5HQdfZRUkyNVOc53n3eOPYvBYoQt6Q0qpJGZTU3EDsLnmcHSlqxn4EzQv4Ejm2phd6ikdHybQwhx7B-Ss9E6jU6O4CCKZ-6eqHnoEEMAQ1OcwFx6K8K0oE/s1600-h/finish+3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 256px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbiiuVcbaJh0S1bV7kUDlYI5HQdfZRUkyNVOc53n3eOPYvBYoQt6Q0qpJGZTU3EDsLnmcHSlqxn4EzQv4Ejm2phd6ikdHybQwhx7B-Ss9E6jU6O4CCKZ-6eqHnoEEMAQ1OcwFx6K8K0oE/s320/finish+3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404455511583066802" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC0tEy1sogkNhn8EgfvYk4bvI8G5KbQRiZopLAVXmX1i1wL5NT6M1uxdzW9bSMVmHWHNbzlHaeGfyP4J5q41KEoIjr0IDVPOaXpN0fx-JDSb1Ypc2v_bu26JAqRf1801W0LSFztvscNAU/s1600-h/pepmoms.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC0tEy1sogkNhn8EgfvYk4bvI8G5KbQRiZopLAVXmX1i1wL5NT6M1uxdzW9bSMVmHWHNbzlHaeGfyP4J5q41KEoIjr0IDVPOaXpN0fx-JDSb1Ypc2v_bu26JAqRf1801W0LSFztvscNAU/s320/pepmoms.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404455505765499826" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt6XD3i3UXONErguR8SyTC2rq87dvSisx4R7vs22SqpF9XI6fOVIuaPvZDA4CGJ7dwiYdzokcL7v8Ovzc9w-A09ddnPNVKYu9jGov87FHH15QvcZxXfHFmUk4-TzQxgryZ8vmdLkVpjm4/s1600-h/evie3.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 196px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt6XD3i3UXONErguR8SyTC2rq87dvSisx4R7vs22SqpF9XI6fOVIuaPvZDA4CGJ7dwiYdzokcL7v8Ovzc9w-A09ddnPNVKYu9jGov87FHH15QvcZxXfHFmUk4-TzQxgryZ8vmdLkVpjm4/s320/evie3.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404455503381140802" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiqbC2ER0xcMP6Jm-K_C8XR8kE3gUy2yFlNBb6uXSQ8EtBsIiBMDXyeRlKf2pH0JoN4bv4qoRCGZ2HOtY3syCL-PuaBM_mphzCbaIg0JV8t8l8TXys0bJbbYAkyPCmRoHwMFi3DRVwGrE/s1600-h/coopchurch.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 220px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiqbC2ER0xcMP6Jm-K_C8XR8kE3gUy2yFlNBb6uXSQ8EtBsIiBMDXyeRlKf2pH0JoN4bv4qoRCGZ2HOtY3syCL-PuaBM_mphzCbaIg0JV8t8l8TXys0bJbbYAkyPCmRoHwMFi3DRVwGrE/s320/coopchurch.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404455503632539138" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdiEXyTd7MbQUaIj5mTcZyEJbnUwxYIk29TSoHYOrpnoMsvZMzy09_oKgGQ25PKcnSCAdDLNC0HaEqkqUejn07HKVJpx41U5P_vOmErMmZy-CUr6fkcnd2DiRkckRJtMceNqE8nl5iXxk/s1600-h/coop1.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdiEXyTd7MbQUaIj5mTcZyEJbnUwxYIk29TSoHYOrpnoMsvZMzy09_oKgGQ25PKcnSCAdDLNC0HaEqkqUejn07HKVJpx41U5P_vOmErMmZy-CUr6fkcnd2DiRkckRJtMceNqE8nl5iXxk/s320/coop1.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404455496438445714" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0y2wlO3_iz7jQ_7vuNcdbk5fAJsp2FsRpy6jsK1M2OXM4Kiw8BHg9lOXAmUlViibLqJv0JSQgKx9r_o-4IpV4gAmZ2eOVsy9NbbmyLb9wWO5_mb7QC6DY0U7J6UsbXcGTB75HABC6mII/s1600-h/group2.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 264px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0y2wlO3_iz7jQ_7vuNcdbk5fAJsp2FsRpy6jsK1M2OXM4Kiw8BHg9lOXAmUlViibLqJv0JSQgKx9r_o-4IpV4gAmZ2eOVsy9NbbmyLb9wWO5_mb7QC6DY0U7J6UsbXcGTB75HABC6mII/s320/group2.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404453840181139586" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnFkORSW4O8h9DrhWL7tnbz1VjmRz8ViWXk8qXMO6B6I_4-drXHcRcR6csoUUbRIG4zQw7EE0hXGAGlkB71Pyp8JkftXPG5s0h8dbN_pLnj-J0n0AuDPhxb69xqGJcXrcTD8k3Q73vlJM/s1600-h/group1.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnFkORSW4O8h9DrhWL7tnbz1VjmRz8ViWXk8qXMO6B6I_4-drXHcRcR6csoUUbRIG4zQw7EE0hXGAGlkB71Pyp8JkftXPG5s0h8dbN_pLnj-J0n0AuDPhxb69xqGJcXrcTD8k3Q73vlJM/s320/group1.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404453838009616434" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgevvgsomd1aRJ3zOKLceHRroMUYUsYCzTxUw6xoNqkhwwqsm5fp8E25BoM1mePUeCnNILOoiNqT8dISkQcPY_6u3A7XOnqbyXXZQ4vndBYO9FRcsYAtV5aF4NHeABl69j3okAUf2I0GZs/s1600-h/evie2.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgevvgsomd1aRJ3zOKLceHRroMUYUsYCzTxUw6xoNqkhwwqsm5fp8E25BoM1mePUeCnNILOoiNqT8dISkQcPY_6u3A7XOnqbyXXZQ4vndBYO9FRcsYAtV5aF4NHeABl69j3okAUf2I0GZs/s320/evie2.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404452352152557138" /></a>Kerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-24026480565907518902009-11-10T19:51:00.005-05:002009-11-10T20:16:39.273-05:00This Little Light of Mine...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2nJ0pGFrqvWHlY_QqaX2kzl1Q4J5rW-tiBWy96ovaMR3GQyDKr_IsiBh3VpPAP65v8E8mL4L5fB7T470Bzl_wgNrosIt4nZrMqSyxwGpAhp_4P9J9UIzIdVNqmNALZ4UjBBtGQjl41cY/s1600-h/RACEFORTHECURE.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 251px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2nJ0pGFrqvWHlY_QqaX2kzl1Q4J5rW-tiBWy96ovaMR3GQyDKr_IsiBh3VpPAP65v8E8mL4L5fB7T470Bzl_wgNrosIt4nZrMqSyxwGpAhp_4P9J9UIzIdVNqmNALZ4UjBBtGQjl41cY/s320/RACEFORTHECURE.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5402642592484226594" /></a><br /><br />Kelly, sister survivors Sandy and Kerry<br />Race For the Cure <br />Knoxville, TN <br />Oct 24, 2009<br /><br /><br />Hello!<br /><br />I can't believe it has been two weeks since my last post! The picture above is the first of many I hope to have in the coming week from Race for the Cure. It was such a special day and I feel as if I am still glowing from it. <br /><br />Many of you remember my nurse friend Julie from St Marys. She has set up a breast cancer survivors support group at the hospital. I had the pleasure of sharing my story along with many of the Godinicideces I have experienced at the first meeting. <br /><br />The list of women facing breast cancer that I have met continues to grow. I met four new ones today at a Look Good Feel Better seminar I attended with my sister survivor friend Sandy. I cannot tell you now how often as I am out and about I see women with bandanas or hats on their heads and I wonder to myself if they are also sister survivors. I am sure they were always there before. The sad truth is my eyes and my heart have truly been opened to them. I pray for about 15 people a day with cancer. Some are breast cancer patients. Others are children who I have come to know with cancer. Each story is different but the heart-tugging emotions are so similar. <br /><br />I am currently beginning to look into reconstructive surgery. It looks now like the plastic surgeon will take a skin graft from my back (behind my left shoulder) and add a tissue expander. This means I will have to go through stretching on the left just as I did on the right and an additional surgery. I remember several months ago my surgeon telling me not to focus on the number of surgeries but the light at the end of the tunnel. I could see it then and it is even brighter now. I feel like I have my own little light now. I am trying to let it shine brightly in the midst of the darkness that is cancer. Lots of love,<br /><br />KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-48568782223925741192009-10-24T18:03:00.012-04:002009-10-26T20:22:04.590-04:00Pink SunshineHello family and friends!<br /><br />I have lots of pictures to post. I hope to have them up later in the week. You see this has been a busy week. With October being breast cancer awareness month, I have been very involved raising money for the cause and getting the word out about prevention and early detection.<br /><br />Tuesday I had the pleasure of speaking to Pep Moms. I got to share with them about 5 of the many amazing Godincidences that I experienced after my diagnosis. I felt like I had come full circle since they had so welcomed and encouraged me right after my diagnosis at the winter retreat last February. There was terrific girl named Crystal I have come to know from Mercy Health Systems that went over everything they needed to know about monthly exams and prevention. They gave me a standing ovation celebrating the end of my treatments which warmed my heart very much.<br /><br />On Thursday I attended a Pink Ribbon Celebration dinner put on by Mercy. I served as a volunteer, decorating a table with my friend Whitney and sister Mitzi. I made some placemats out of scrapbook material and we used an inspiration theme. I left an inspirational book for each to take home. Throughout the night I got to meet with a room full of breast cancer survivors and their medical caregivers. I sat next to a woman named Martha who was a 35 year survivor and the sister of the survivor who had inspired the event. I got lots of hugs from the nurses I have come to know and one of my doctors who has been such an encouragement to me. It was a special night that I won't soon forget. <br /><br />On Friday several terrific students at coop presented me with a poster they had made just for me. Everyone at coop had signed it. It was something they had come up with and made on their own. I am constantly amazed by the faith and the prayers of young people I meet there. The sign and all of its personal messages were absolutely beautiful and it will always be something I treasure. <br /><br />The timing of the sign was the perfect send off for the next big event which topped off the week, the Race for the Cure. Our God is Bigger Than Cancer Team ended up being about 50 people strong! It was made up of family, friends from Pep Moms, from coop, from church as well as two courageous fellow survivors and their families. Adding together registration fees and donations, we raised about $3000 toward the cure for breast cancer! Yeah!!! It was such a joy to walk with them all. There were over 12,000 people present. It was a sea of pink. <br /><br />Right before the finish line my friend Amanda snapped a picture and then I was separated from all the other walkers down a "survivor" lane. There the entire UT vols basketball and track teams were on hand and gave me high fives as I crossed the finish line. Other young people passed out a rose to the survivors. As I got to the very end a youth leader from my church working as a volunteer handed me a second rose. That was such a pleasant surprise. I had to cry, but it was tears of such happiness. It may have been a overcast but Race for the Cure was indeed the "happy day in the sun" I had looked forward to. Thank so much to everyone on the team who made it all possible and all the supporters who prayed for us and donated. <br /><br />On grocery store labels, on shirts I see, at all the events I have been to it is pink, pink everywhere. It does my heart good. it gives me hope that a cure is not so far away and that if not me perhaps my daughters will someday see a day without breast cancer. Lots of love,<br /><br />KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-82657026202301863322009-10-18T21:11:00.006-04:002009-10-19T13:23:12.083-04:00Update on the Avon WalkHello!<br /><br />Several of you have been asking for details on how Brooke Estrada's Avon Walk for breast cancer went last June. I have received a letter from her detailing all the wonderful things that happened during her preparation for the walk and over the course of that weekend. I am excited to share it with you. Enjoy! <br /><br /><br />My Avon Walk with God by Brooke Estrada<br /><br />Inspiration is Just around the Corner <br /><br />Several months before the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer took place in Colorado on June 27th and 28th, I was experiencing a severe lack of motivation. First, my walking partner from last year announced that she would be unable to participate in this year’s walk. To make matters worse, the poor economy had affected most of my friends and family very negatively. Several sponsors from last year were now unemployed, which discouraged me from asking for their support this year. <br />As you can imagine, I became discouraged with the whole situation; I was without a partner for the walk and almost everyone I knew was broke. For weeks, I was doing a lot of soul-searching in order to re-ignite my passion for fighting breast cancer; it seemed my flame had gone out. <br /><br />Then, in February of this year – with the help of my weekly women’s bible study – I realized that I was looking inward for something that could only be found upward. I had been looking at this year’s Avon Walk as a duty instead of a labor of love, but the love that I possessed within myself was so limited. So, I decided to pray for God to give me His heart and help me love others the way he does. As long as I was doing this for God’s people with love in my heart, I could shine the light of Jesus Christ into the lives of those who had been directly impacted by breast cancer, giving them new hope.<br /><br />With that, I started searching for an inspiring t-shirt that I could wear as I trained, so that everyone would know what I was doing and why. It proved very frustrating to find a faith-based t-shirt with the right message. I’ve seen my share of “inspirational” mottos throughout these breast cancer rallies, but none of them really spoke of the hope and strength that only comes from God. Slogans like “I Fight like A Girl”, “Think Pink” “Hope” and “Cancer Sucks” were cute yet lacking originality and depth. After several mind-numbing hours of searching, I stumbled upon the perfect t-shirt. Upon it was written, “GOD – So Much Bigger than Cancer”. It said the exact message I was trying to bring to the people: no matter what kind of hardship you are enduring, God is in control and He will bring you through it. <br /><br />I excitedly followed the link to what I thought would be an online super-store where I could indulge in all of my Jesus-freak paraphernalia, but instead it was a blog written by a woman recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Her name is Kerry Osborne and since the day I discovered her uplifting t-shirt, I have followed her amazing breast cancer journey through her online diary. After reading all of Kerry’s blog entries that day I decided to write her an e-mail, expressing my thanks and support for her mission. I was so moved by her courage through Christ; it both humbled and inspired me. If a person amidst the battle for their life could stare adversity in the face and say “God is bigger than you”, then I could certainly do the same! God had sent me a message through Kerry: “He is Bigger than Cancer” and it was now my turn to pass it on. <br /><br />Defeating Doubt with Faith<br /><br />Days went by and turned into weeks and as the weeks passed I could feel myself slipping again. I was short of sponsors and I was worried I wouldn’t be able to come up with the money to participate in the Avon Walk. I continued to train and solicit my friends and family for donations, but I was so uncomfortable about asking people to spare money they likely didn’t have for a cause they probably didn’t care about. I started to pray; asking God if He really wanted me to go to Colorado. He didn’t say anything. So then I started wondering if this was God’s will or mine? For weeks and weeks God was quiet about the walk and I kept asking him if this was the right think to do. With 4 weeks before the event, I had resolved that if God really wanted me to go on this walk in Colorado, He would allow me to raise $720 more in order to reach my minimum goal. Two days later I spoke to my dear friend Deana Campbell, who informed me that she and her husband Steve decided to donate the remaining $720! I was flabbergasted! Deana and Steve had already donated $500 earlier that year which meant that they had contributed nearly 70% of my total needed funds. However, even with the minimum fundraising goal being met, I was still having doubts. For those remaining 4 weeks, I searched God’s Word and found great reassurance recited this prayer, daily: “Father God, I don’t know what you have planned for the Avon Walk. I just pray that whatever happens, it will bring glory to you. While I am in Colorado, please show me someone who needs to hear from you. Fill me with your Spirit that I may have words of love and encouragement for them; entrust me to be your hands and feet”. I didn’t know what would happen after that, I just knew I had to keep on praying and believing that great things would happen.<br /><br />“Somewhere, Somebody Needs a Reason to Believe” – Britt Nicole<br /><br />I arrived in Denver on Thursday, June 25th and stayed the night with my friends Yvette and Phil. The next morning, Yvette dropped me off downtown to catch a shuttle to Keystone, where the event would begin, some 90 miles from Denver. As I waited for the bus, a smiling woman with 2 braids and a silly sun-hat approached me and asked if I was waiting for the Avon shuttle too. Her name was Amy; a weather forecaster in the Air National Guard, who was walking in honor of her grandmother; a breast cancer survivor. We boarded the bus when it arrived and talked almost the entire ride to Keystone. Once we got off the bus, we were like old friends on a weekend adventure. We checked in at the event and into our respective hotels, before meeting up for an early dinner at a steakhouse located in her hotel. After dinner, it was too late to walk around outside, but too early too sleep. We hung out in her hotel room, sitting on opposite ends of a small couch, talking about how the paths of our youth had brought us to our current, respective lifestyles. <br />When the time had come to explain how I ended up in Las Vegas where I currently reside, the words just started falling out of my mouth. I began telling Amy about my gradual slip into spiritual darkness in my early twenties. I told her that I’d managed to claw myself back onto my feet, but it wasn’t until I established a sold foundation of faith in Jesus Christ that my life began to take on real purpose. I then started telling Amy about my new life in Christ. I could feel the energy in the room rise, as my tale transitioned from one of desperation and hopelessness, to the account of my re-birth. I spoke of the many amazing things God had done in my life and how I have come to love Him so deeply.<br /><br />I didn’t realize it, but I had been sharing my testimony for the first time, nonetheless to a woman I scarcely knew. When I looked across the couch at Amy’s face, I was surprised to see her eyes streaming with tears but her face was filled with joy. She said, “I feel like this trip has nothing to do with breast cancer; I think I was supposed to find you.” Amy went on to describe her own spiritual emptiness to me. She admitted that she had always been a “very cerebral” person, needing an explanation for everything. Even though, she couldn’t explain God, she knew he existed. I remembered something my friend Teresa said, “I don’t want a God I can explain because that would make him so small”. Amy confessed that although she had not endured severe hardships in her life like some and had been blessed many times over, she always felt something was missing in her life. I remembered having that same “God-shaped hole” before I came to know Christ and really understood where she was coming from. We conversed late into the night and at the end of our long chat, she expressed how unburdened she felt; no longer a slave to her anger and past hurts. Amy said, “Meeting and talking with you has been an answer to a prayer I never spoke”. I know it’s because God knows our hearts; He knows every prayer before we speak it. I am so humbled that God used me to answer that prayer and I am thankful that he answered my prayer for that weekend, too. <br /><br />Amy and I walked the whole 26.2 miles side-by-side; it was definitely a weekend that we will both remember for years to come. We still keep in touch and I am ecstatic to announce that she is actively pursuing her relationship with Jesus! Amen!Kerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-43772133277565101942009-10-10T22:51:00.007-04:002009-10-11T00:01:45.688-04:00Cyber Cancer ConnectionsHello dear family and friends!<br /><br />The last few months I have begun connecting with cancer patients all over America. This has been a huge blessing to me. I follow the blogs of several other women who have been impacted by cancer. They are all ages and stages and their words have been a tremendous encouragement to me. Some of those sites I am now listing on my blog page.<br /><br />Through the Tshirt ministry, I have also become aware of 5 children battling cancer. I follow their caringbridge sites faithfully. I am involved right now in doing care packages for two of them and grieving the loss of one of them who just died yesterday. Her name was Sammie. She was a young girl I never met who lived on the other side of the country, yet her story has touched me deeply. I know she is in heaven now and I feel such sadness for her family.<br /><br />I cannot tell you how often I have read posts from the other women survivors or the families of these children battling cancer and just cried. Cancer is so cruel. <br /><br />I pray for all of these cyber cancer connections daily. Even though they are people I have never met I am constantly amazed by their strong faith and their courage in the face of adversity. God bless them all. Lots of love,<br /><br />KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-68844315846227728802009-10-04T18:37:00.009-04:002009-10-04T21:25:43.409-04:00Getting Involved & Being One Busy Pipe!Now that my treatments are two weeks behind me I am now really looking forward to passing on all the many blessings that so many of you out there have given to me. <br /><br />I pray daily for 8 other breast cancer patients that I know or have connected with online. Two of them were in the hospital last week and I was able to check in with the physician about one and visit the other. It has meant a great deal to me cheering on these women who are a few months in their treatment behind me.<br /><br />Last Wednesday night Laura, Leslie and I went to a breast cancer tree lighting ceremony at St Mary's, the hospital where I was diagnosed. They gave me a special ornament with my name on it and placed a single jewel on it indicating my 1st year as a cancer survivor. I met another woman there who had 28 jewels on her ornament. That was such an encouragement to me. Laura and Leslie placed my ornament on the tree in the hospital lobby. The ornament was one among hundreds in honor of the survivors diagnosed at that hospital who were in the audience or who had passed on. The first physician I saw after my initial diagnosis spoke. She talked about how many of her patients have told her that oddly enough they now see their breast cancer as a blessing. It had opened their eyes to a new clarity about life, a new appreciation. It made me smile. I can't honestly say I see all of this as a blessing but I can truly say I have seen many good things come from it. There was a brief ceremony. Laura won a door prize. It was flower arrangement in a pink vase with the breast cancer symbol on it. You should have seen her face when she presented it to me. Precious. After a brief ceremony, we went outside to see a second Christmas tree atop the hospital lit all in pink. They even had a fountain outside the hospital flowing with pink water. <br /><br />St Mary's is hosting a banquet at the end of the month to celebrate survivors and raise $ for a cure. I have joined a committee to decorate tables for the event. Many of you will remember Julie, the wonderful nurse who reached out to me the day of my biopsy and helped me give out so many shirts. Early on in my chemo I would give her info about another cancer support group but it never seemed to meet the first few months within my diagnosis. I told her at the time how much I missed not participating in a group like that. Julie is now starting a support group that she says was inspired by me called Mercy's Women of Courage and Healing. She has asked me and a few other women to come and give our testimonials at the event. It is also at the end of the month. <br /><br />And of course there is the Race for the Cure on October 24th. When I started the team I was hoping to have about 10-20 people join me on the big day. My team is now up to almost 30 people! We have raised close to $300 in donations and about $1000 overall if you consider our registration fees. Who-hoooo!! <br /><br />And so my post breast cancer life is keeping me busy in some wonderful ways. I hope all of you that have prayed and supported me and my family these past 10 months can read this and smile knowing that your goodness is being passed on.<br /><br />If you'd like to join our Race for the Cure team, make a donation to it or just check out our team page, here is a link. http://komenknoxville.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=event.team&eventID=506&participantID=1302<br /><br />If you are a local survivor and would like more info about events coming up in the Knoxville area, please email me or post your information under comments. <br /><br />Many of you remember my post about being a pipe (giver) versus a pot (taker). It is such a joy to feel the blessings flow through me onto others. So many of them started out there with each of you. So lots of love to all my pipes out there,<br /><br />KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-40425311103437427372009-09-24T20:19:00.014-04:002009-09-27T10:54:57.551-04:00Dancing Inside & Out<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPgFupwubtkLE7npEKV7r0nwZ1yATLRyUjcLkD5ssyqiIngkGV7UZpdhggiAliVmrxN513XrdUDlB9k9m3-4Au8q00IWe2Mp6bTRZKIXCGVUisBeyD0A77_nJjo-OhDhWSLX4gjuwLHiY/s1600-h/Angie+Williams+and+Kerry.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 226px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPgFupwubtkLE7npEKV7r0nwZ1yATLRyUjcLkD5ssyqiIngkGV7UZpdhggiAliVmrxN513XrdUDlB9k9m3-4Au8q00IWe2Mp6bTRZKIXCGVUisBeyD0A77_nJjo-OhDhWSLX4gjuwLHiY/s320/Angie+Williams+and+Kerry.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385925514811067554" /></a><br /><br />Angie and me <br />"Sister Survivors"<br />Survivor's Luncheon 2009<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Hello everyone!<br /><br />Guess what? I had no doctor's appointments this week. None! No temperature or blood pressure checks. No weigh ins. No baggy, drafty hospital gowns. I've had my first week cancer treatment free! It feels so wonderful! <br /><br />It feels as though I am dancing inside.<br /><br />I am still a little sunburned from the radiation but it is getting better. I am currently sporting lots of shrugs. It is a great fashion accessory for breast cancer patients I must say. Whenever someone comments on my new spiky hair look I am quite proud to credit it to my "Short and Sexy Hair Gel." It gets me lots of laughs. Yes that really is the brand name. Being that I am a short person as well I like to think the whole look goes beyond the hair gel. Now all I need to do is wear my diva sunglasses and hair gel at the same time. I just don't know if the world out there is ready for all that "divaness" yet. <br /><br />I guess the only thing that has surprised me this week is that I've felt a little overwhelmed getting back to the routine. You'd think it would be easy and it is for the most part. It's just the things that I've put off for a while I feel like I now have to pick back up as though nothing has happened. Suddenly I expect myself to be back 100%. It is silly I know and I am getting back into the old "normal" life happily now one day at a time. <br /><br />Last Friday Randy and I went to a survivor's luncheon. The speaker was Dr. Farris Jordan, a psychologist. He was hilarious. He talked about how the best way to battle bad news is to have a great attitude. <br /><br />He said whenever people deliver him bad news in his office now they do it with a funny dance and everyone automatically handles it so much better. For example, the secretary might say "The computer is broken" while doing the hokie pokie. We have started doing the dance at our house too. Randy was taking the trash out last week and commented on how yucky it was while "getting down." You should have seen my kids' faces when I said "Lucky you, you have a math test today" while doing a "staying alive" dance move. (Unfortunately the joke was lost on them!) <br /><br />At the survivor's luncheon I had the privilege of sitting with two friends and former coworkers, Whitney and Amy. I also got to see Angie (my Cancer Vixen reading buddy), give her a shirt and get our picture made together. <br /><br />For 5 months now I have been corresponding with a survivor I met through a relative via Facebook. She got diagnosed about four months after I did. I watched her go through the same treatments I did right after me rooting her on the whole way. Friday I got to meet her face to face for the first time and give her a box with items to help her through her upcoming surgery. All of this gave me such joy. <br /><br />This week I heard the song "I Hope you Dance" on the radio. I remember first hearing that song when I was pregnant with Laura. At that time I remember having such hopes for that first child, such dreams and wishes. I will always associate that song with her. It is interesting to hear it now after battling cancer. It truly captures how every moment is precious and how life (good and bad) is best faced with, as that speaker put it, a happy dance. Hope you are dancing too. Lots of love,<br /><br />KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-62770398526773424362009-09-17T17:40:00.024-04:002009-09-18T21:58:00.190-04:00Radiation Graduation!! GOD is SO Good Ya'll!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkvr-Icf5wS3R-o6I4F2hZqxoTSiKzltt7lTwNyXHliymTg_uCSNapsEQogttQ3zSa2Hw6lk77eaNi4h-ndvBUprNuopUGJxp4czH_qG1s9QMqW983CAXmcpB2ZoRRSN1KGKi6BSYmMJw/s1600-h/Radiation+Graduation.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkvr-Icf5wS3R-o6I4F2hZqxoTSiKzltt7lTwNyXHliymTg_uCSNapsEQogttQ3zSa2Hw6lk77eaNi4h-ndvBUprNuopUGJxp4czH_qG1s9QMqW983CAXmcpB2ZoRRSN1KGKi6BSYmMJw/s320/Radiation+Graduation.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5382585371577804578" /></a><br />Hello dear friends and family!<br /><br />Today I had my LAST radiation treatment. Yeah!! I am now officially done with all of my treatments! Whoo-hooo!!<br /><br />It was a very special day for me. I have to be honest though and say that I did the oddest thing on the way to the hospital. I found myself crying the whole way. Not from joy but from sorrow. <br /><br />One reason for this was because I started thinking about the future. What would my life be like now AFTER cancer? I had already had my last weekly visit with the Radiation Oncologist on Tuesday. I asked him at the time how I needed to proactively monitor myself from this time forward. Should I have regular scans? Should I pay close attentioin to the tumor marker blood tests? What should I do? <br /><br />His answer to me was more complicated than I expected. He said tumor markers don't work with all people. He also said some insurance companies won't pay for scans unless you have an outright symptom. His best advice was to know what was normal for my body and to know my Medical Oncologist. Fortuately he told me I have a top-notch Medical Oncologist (which I already knew). <br /><br />He told me that one of his patients right now probably has about 3-4 weeks to live because of her metastacized cancer. She did not have breast cancer and initially went somewhere out of state. Her doctor there put her through all these tests which were not necessary in her case (like a mammogram) because he owned the equipment (and could make lots of $$). That doctor emphasized that her mammogram was clear without leveling with her about what she was up against. She had not been told the whole truth. And the truth in my case was he didn't know how my cancer would be monitored. He said sometimes as a doctor that is the hardest thing to tell a patient that "You don't know." He did say though that my Oncologist was a good doctor and would do everything she could to keep a close eye on me. This was both very comforting and very sobering to me. <br /><br />Laura and Leslie heard every word of this and as we left that day Laura suggested we pray for this woman with a few weeks left to live, whoever she was. I was proud of Laura for thinking of it. We prayed for the woman in our car that morning. It prompted lots of questions about life, about death, about heaven and we talked about it all the whole way home. <br /><br />That was on Tuesday. Today was Thursday. All of this was on my mind as I drove myself to the hospital for my last treatment. <br /><br />Also on my mind was the fact that I would have to say goodbye to all the special people I saw every day at the treatment center...everyone from the techs, to the fellow patients to the parking attendent. <br /><br />I was especially sad because I was told by a tech on Monday that Herbert had to take a break from his treatments and would not be in the rest of the week. I thought I might never see him and Virginia again. <br /><br />What a pleasant surprise it was when I walked into the hospital and saw them both! <br /><br />After my treatment I talked with Virginia in the waiting room more about Herbert. She told me that he was diagnosed in March. The cancer had started at his ear and progressed to his throat and lung. He has a circular button on his neck he always has to push whenever he speaks. Virginia told me he'd lost lots of weight and was having trouble eating. They were giving him 7 Ensures a day. She also told me that her daughter who lived several hours away has a lung disease and she is worried about her. She said as long as she "had breath in her body and gas in her car," she'd keep bringing Herbert for his treatments. I thought that was a beautiful statment. Many times when I've seen her Virginia would say, "Isn't God good?" with a big smile on her face. I always cheerfully agreed but today it made me stop and think about it further. I was always saying how good He was in the midst of good news. Ever since my diagnosis my news got better and better. Here she is able to say it even in the hardest of times. I admire her greatly. Now THAT is faith!<br /><br />I was able to give Herbert and Connie each a GOD IS BIGGER THAN CANCER shirt. That meant so much to me. There were lots of hugs. The techs gave me a radiation graduation certificate. In the waiting room I collected my last cookie on my last cookie day. Boy did that ever taste SWEET!<br /><br />I came to my last day of radiation with tears of sorrow and left with such joy. As I pulled off in my car I was touched that the parking attendent (who waved at us every morning) remembered it was my last day. I proudly showed him my radiation graduation certificate and he was quite impressed. (Yes, Evie I too made friends with the parking attendent). <br /><br />And so ends my cancer treatments. I will still have at least 3 (maybe 4) surgeries but the battle waged against the cancer is now over. I hope it will be my last. It doesn't mean that cancer is out of my life for good now. No matter what happens in the future, cancer will always be a part of my life. <br /><br />Please pray for Connie, for Virginia and her daughter, for Herbert and for that woman the doctor spoke about who is dying of cancer. <br /><br />Please remember most that "God is so good." I have been a witness that it is true in the best and in the worst of times. Lots of love,<br /><br />KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-49597240060472287882009-09-08T21:14:00.016-04:002009-09-10T07:15:04.334-04:00Tolerable and TemporaryHello friends and family!<br /><br />I am now 6 treatments away from completing my radiation therapy! Yeah!! The skin under my arm is black with blisters and I am very red all over my left chest. I am uncomfortable but as I told my doctor today it is all "tolerable and temporary." <br /><br />When I go to radiation I see the same people. There is Virginia and Herbert who told me about "cookie day" and another breast cancer patient named Connie. We always chat and I enjoy seeing them and the same technicians every day. <br /><br />Laura has taken to carrying a blanket with her into the hospital. Coats in her view are overrated. Today she and Leslie walked around with it over their heads. Leslie paraded behind Laura her body totally covered except for her feet. It looked like they were part of a huge animal costume. They turned a lot of heads but the onlookers always smiled. Anytime I go to my treatment and they aren't with me strangers come up and ask me where they are at and how they are doing. Guess we must turn a lot of heads (and make a lot of smiles I hope). <br /><br />Today I met someone new. His name was Will and he has lung cancer. He looked to be in his 80's. He had just finished his radiation treatment and was lying on a stretcher waiting for someone to take him up to his hospital room. He said he'd been married 60 years to the same woman. He joked about how he'd put up with her for all that time (and how his lucky wife hadn't put up with anything). I thought it was very sweet when he said he didn't know what he'd do without his wife or she without him. He asked my name and I told him. He said he'd known another Kerry when he was young in World War II. He said that other Kerry had died on a Pacific island fighting the Japanese all those years ago. That was sobering to me. It made me wonder what all he'd seen in his life. He also told me he was about to start chemo. I told him he would love the nurses in the chemo hut. I said you get to eat ice cream, hang out in a recliner, take a nap and watch TV. He said he couldn't wait to get started. <br /><br />Just like Virginia, Connie & Herbert he never once lost his humor or his smile. I really admire the spirit of the people I see at radiation every day. They don't complain even when you can tell they are hurting. They just smile and keep going. <br /><br />Today I also saw a Physical Therapist. I went for an educational session about how to avoid getting lymphadema which is a backing up of the lymphatic fluid in the arm (and therefore a swelling of the arm itself). Because I have had my lymph nodes removed I am at higher risk for it, although the risk is about 25%. The therapist showed me pictures of people who'd had it, some in their legs as well as arms. (It all depends on where your lymph nodes have been removed). I was shocked by the severity of the swelling. Apparently all sorts of things can set it off: heat, mosquito bites, injury to my left arm, a cut, a change in pressure. I have been told now to avoid saunas and shaving with a regular razor under my arm among other things. I cannot have my blood pressure or skin pricked on my left side. I was told to buy a special sleeve if I ever go flying in an airplane or in case the lymphadema ever starts.<br /><br />One of the things the other radiation patients, the technicians and I often joke about are the floppy hospital gowns we have to wear. Those immodest little things have become a part of my radiation routine. It has fondly brought to my mind a poem called "The Hospital Gown" written by my grandmother Mamma B. It was found after her death in a niche by her easy chair. She passed away from breast cancer in 1989 when I was 18. I think it captures the indignity but necessity (the tolerable and the temporary) of that aspect of the journey. And when you think about it, if Jesus is in your heart and you're going to heaven, it helps everything seems a little more tolerable and temporary. <br /><br />The Hospital Gown<br />By Bertha Hutchison Booth<br /><br />Provided with a smile, I wore it with a frown.<br />Tied in back like a bib, split all the way down;<br />So skinny and short,it won't go around<br />That horrible, hazardous hospital gown.<br /><br />No buttons to button- no zippers to zip-<br />Tall, short, fat, thin- all it must fit.<br />Not even a pocket for hankie or pen,<br />I hereby declare it a crime against men.<br />That horrible, humiliating hospital gown.<br /><br />Now Doc says I'm better- I walk down the hall.<br />Wearing pajamas and robe- pants, pockets and all.<br />I'll soon be dismissed and, when out on the town,<br />I'll praise those who provided with expert renown,<br />That horrible humanizing hospital gown. <br /><br />Hope whatever you are putting up with is tolerable and temporary too. Lots of love,Kerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9037551155936459025.post-29577385487617730662009-09-02T21:27:00.018-04:002009-09-03T19:42:59.771-04:00Vanity...The First Thing to GoHello!<br /><br />I am now half way through with my 5th week of radiation. All is still going well although I can really feel it now. I am totally red on the left side of my chest. It feels like a sunburn and is most uncomfortable under my arm. Sometimes I catch myself walking with my left arm sticking out funny to prevent the friction of skin on skin in my armpit. The doctor said I had 5 more treatments in that area but they are going to postpone them a few days to give that area some time to recover. They have been treating the clavical area of lymph nodes below my neck as well. Starting tomorrow they will also be concentrating the radiation on my masectomy scar. I have 10 more treatments to go. I can no longer wear a bra because of the discomfort. <br /><br />I remain in a state of menopause. The doctor said I may not know for 6 months whether this will be permanent or not. The past month I have noticed lots of fuzzy hair all over my face. It is even all over my nose. A couple people have commented on it. Randy and I joke that I'm so hairy "the moon must be full" like I'm a werewolf or something. We just laugh about it. I suppose this is due to the drop in hormones. After months of no hair it seems a little bizarre. <br /><br />Yesterday I saw an interview with Michael J. Fox on Oprah. He was talking about Parkinson's Disease and how it makes him constantly shake. He said after his diagnosis that "Vanity was the first thing to go" and that now he doesn't care so much about what he looks like or how people perceive his physical appearance. I find myself now trotting daily through UT hospital with my very short hair, an uneven chest, fuzzy face and false eyelashes (that have been known to pop off unexpectedly from time to time) without much thought about my appearance. I have laid on the radiation table so many times now with my chest scars exposed that I don't flinch at all when three technicians stand over me lining up the crosshairs for my daily radiation treatment. It has all become a strange sort of routine. It is a bit freeing really. <br /><br />That's not to say though that it doesn't bother me at all. I see people look at me differently sometimes. I've had several women just come up to me recently and start talking about how they are survivors too. They don't even ask if I have breast cancer. I guess they just know it on sight. One time I even had one woman start showing me her masectomy scar in the middle of a retail store. It guess those scars can be a strange source of pride, really. Like a soldier showing his battle wounds it means you are a survivor in the truest sense of the word. I am fortunate that the scars from my breast cancer are temporary. The shakiness from Parkinsons is not. The lesson learned however is the same. I knew I was not defined by my physical appearance, but sometimes (with so much of my life revolving around my treatments) cancer starts seeming like that is my life. You're poked, prodded, stuck with needles and people stare at your scars all the time. Cancer is very humbling and none of it (except your attitude) can you control. We are not defined by our adversity though. We are so much more. <br /><br />Last week I saw my Internist. He said in 35 years of family practice he had never seen a cancer like mine. At first I was left to wonder if this was a compliment (reminiscent of the remark of how I was "perfect" for chemo). According to the pathology report my sentinel lymph node was the only one with any sign of cancer and singlehandely soaked it all up by itself. (Way to go Sponge Bob!)He said if it hadn't been for my dislocated shoulder and the size of that gygantor lymph node that we may not have discovered the cancer. I had always thought of the shoulder accident as a "red herring" that kept me from diagnosing the cancer sooner. <br /><br />So I guess it's just all in how you look at things. Vanity is indeed the first thing to go. And what's left is a new sort of self assurance, a new sort of self worth that confirms that who you are is so much more than what people perceive you are or any hardship you are going through. Michael J. Fox put it this way. He is much more than Parkinsons but Parkinson disease has helped define him. It has brought new people into his life and caused him to make new choices that he otherwise never would have made. <br /><br />I Corinthians 2:7 says "...we speak of God's secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. However, as it is written: 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.'" <br /><br />No matter what stumbling blocks we may be facing big or small, God sees the big picture. He sees the true essence of who we are and where we all fall in His master plan. Doesn't it do your heart good to know that? Lots of love,<br /><br />KerryKerry ABOUT MEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07136898976306195057noreply@blogger.com5