Hello!
I always try to focus on the bright side of life, but I would be lying if I said the last few weeks have been easy. Oddly enough the surgery which I mentioned in the last post was really a very minor thing. I have been sore, but that was expected and I was able to resume normal activities within a week or two.
What's been hard is the illness and the loss we have experienced so much recently. My uncle suddenly died a week and a half ago. My whole side of the family went up to Johnson City last weekend for the funeral services. Recently there have been a couple accidents in the family and both of Randy's grandmothers have been seriously ill. One is having pacemaker surgery on Monday and the other is now gravely ill. Sometimes it seems like too much to bear. It feels like there is a black cloud that has descended over us all in the past year, a plague of sorts that just won't go away.
We know these loved ones are saved, but the loss and illnesses are still so very hard.
About a month ago our pastor preached on heaven. He talked about some pretty radical ideas...that heaven might be on a renewed earth and not a spirtual realm...that we might have physical (though new & perfected) bodies....that we might use some of the technology, hobbies and skills we so enjoyed on earth. This was not your stereotypical description of heaven with everyone wearing white robes and strumming harps. Our pastor referenced a book called Heaven by Randy Alcorn. We began reading it about three weeks ago. Randy and I have talked about how that was another Godincidence.
I so long to encourage my children and family members through all of this, but the truth of it is that I am tired...so, so very tired. On top of it all, the back of my neck has been hurting. It is probably just stress-induced, but it has brought those old fears of reoccurance to the forefront again.
I know my uncle is in a better place. I know Randy's Mamaws are being showered in prayer and in God's hands. We are in so many ways so truly blessed. I just really want those clouds to part and the sun to shine through again. Lots of love,
Kerry
Dear Sweet Kerry,
ReplyDeleteThose clouds will part and the sun will shine through again!! We will pray for both of Randy's grandmothers, that God will heal them both physically in an amazing way. These past few weeks have been difficult and I understand the fear you are living with. One of my favorite verses that I quote to myself almost as a mantra when I feel powerless and overwhelmed is 2 Timothy 1:7. "For thou has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." You are a powerful daughter of the most high king and he loves you and your family dearly. You may feel weak and discouraged today, but you are not weak and powerless. You possess great strength and courage. It's okay to get tired and worn out and hope for those sunny days. Just remember that God will part those clouds and warm you with his love. I'm praying that you will feel lifted up even today with our prayers and love.
Your sis,
Shannon
Kerry, Thanks for sharing your burden some with us, and for your honesty. I know those days must hurt. I pray for God to show you His love and for you to feel his strength, sympathy, encouragement, and peace. I know you are so close to Him, and that he hurts with you. But we also know he loves you, and that he has a special plan for YOU. Praying for you, Kerry.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Amy
Kerry,
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear of your pain. God's plan is perfect, even when we are at a loss in our understanding.
He promises never to leave us, not now, not ever.
Sending you hugs as we wait for the sun the and brighter days ahead,
Karen
I'm currently in recurrence of ovarian. Began chemo yesterday. Oddly, I am not anxious about it. A year ago, with the first chemo, anxiety was all around me. But now? I'm just not anxious...it surprises me that I'm not. Several verses remind me that I am safe in God's hands. Isaiah 43:2 and Psalm 139:16.
ReplyDeleteI am also reading a book by D A Carson, "How Long, O Lord" wherein he discusses the sufferings of God's people. It is not a quick read but it has affirmed to me many thoughts that I understood much more lightly than he expounds.
Sending love your way this Valentine's Day. I am so sorry for the loss your family has experienced recently. Peace.
ReplyDeleteKerry,
ReplyDeleteIt has been difficult lately, hasn't it? When I bought the boy's clothes for Uncle Tom's funeral, I wondered how many more funerals we would have this year. My nephew's mother is dying, John's grandmother's health is failing, and his grandfather has cancer. Sometimes it does seem overwelming.
I am sorry Randy's grandmothers are struggling. Even though you know it is coming, it is difficult to realize you will not see them here on earth. The separation is so very painful.
You and Randy have experienced such a difficult year. It is okay to be tired. We all need periods of rest where we aren't in the middle of a struggle.
I am sorry your neck is bothering you. I think you are okay, but am sorry you are having to deal with it. I want you to have a period of rest and calm. I want life to be easier for you and Randy for a time.
When I became overwelmed, I reminded myself that today was such a great day. John and I are together today. We have time with our family today. We are spending time with those we love today.
You and Randy have so many great moments and days ahead. There is so much for you to do and to enjoy. I am so glad that you are here today.
I love you, Kerry. The sunshine is coming! You might just need to hold on a little longer.
Take care of yourself, Kerry.
Remember how much we all love you.
Mitzi
Hi Kerry,
ReplyDeleteMitzi has been keeping me updated and I have been prayihg for you and thinking about you all the time. I called her on the day you saw your oncologist, because I really needed to know that everything was going to be okay. But really, the only reassurances we can count on is God's reassurances, and sometimes they are so subtle that we miss them. I hope and pray that when God sends out his subtleties and Godincidences to you and your family that they give you all the comfort they are designed to do.
Kerry, we will keep praying for you and cheering you on!!
Love,
Michelle C.