Another Hurdle in the Chemo Race Bites the Dust!

Dear Prayer Warriors,

Another chemo bites the dust! 5 down and 1 to go!

Needles, the dreaded weigh in, the chemo port and arm pricks, the chemical smell, that groggy feeling after "chemo sleep" when you wake up, that unsteadiness on your feet as you leave. I have to admit I was alittle more nervous about this treatment. I am still having some hormonal-driven anxiety,overwhelmed feelings, hot flashes and roller coster emotions. Another survivor told me she dreaded her last treatment so much she threw up. I have to admit I am tiring of all these things but they have, in a way, become a strange routine on the path to purifying myself of this cancer.

By the 5th treatment I have to say I am definately a "regular." There was a receptionist on vacation today who always raves about my God shirt and I missed her. There are smiles and hugs from people now that I count on..no I depend on each time I come. There's the scheduler who calls me "Sunshine," Kathy the chemo nurse who never misses a visit without a hug or laugh, the volunteers who bring you warm blankets and drinks, the doctor I know I can call at 2 am and she'll be there. What a difference this support network makes. Several commented today on how close I was to the "finish line," as though they were cheering me on in a chemo marathon. I was looking at a bulletin board today at the "chemo hut." It had a picture of several of the nurses and a thank you note that said simply "Chemo Hut Angels, thank you for taking care of my dad." I feel like I have lots of angels on earth at the cancer center (and around the nation) who are cheering me on to the chemo finish line.

I didn't run into any survivors today and it made me sad. I continue to pray I will run into the woman I saw shaking during my first visit at the cancer center. The only profound regret I have is that I never got her name and don't know what has happened to her. I feel like God led me to that cancer center for a reason. Each visit I look around for another woman shaking, another woman who was like me waiting for a PET scan result. Thus far I have not seen another one. I so very much want to help other women in that moment, that terrible, terrifying moment of uncertainty. It's not just about giving them a Tshirt & encouraging them...it's about praying with them, giving them a hug, giving them hope in God, THE ONE who can carry them through. For those of you who remember my post about being a pipe (giver) versus a pot (taker) I feel like a pipe about to burst, receiving so much...wanting to give, but still finding my way.

God has been so good though and he is providing the way in His time. He is answering prayers too. There is a Relay for Life event coming up on May 1. I have been given permission to sell some of our shirts there so we can earn more to give away at the cancer center. Obviously I can't buy lots of shirts upfront so I prayed about it, that God would provide if it was His will. Michelle from our Tshirt vendor, Lunabtees, has graciously offerred to give us dozens of girly cut shirts upfront to sell at the event. (Thank you sooo much Michelle!!!). What an answer to prayer! It feels like another Godincidence. There is another GOD IS BIGGER THAN CANCER shirt design in the works too with gold (the color for Juvenile cancer). What a joy it would be to reach more children!

Below is a verse that Laura recited at her Kindergarten graduation a couple years ago. It has new meaning for me now.

Hebrews 12:1-2 says "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Did you hear that? "...For the JOY set before Him ENDURED the cross despising the SHAME." If He can do that, I certainly can handle one little round more of chemo! I can't wait to finish the chemo race! The finish line is in sight! Yahoooo!
Lots of love,

Kerry