Biopsy

Dear friends and family,

Shannon's biopsy went really well and they found ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! YEAH!!! Below is a post I wrote this morning. I didn't want Shannon to read it going into her biopsy and so I waited until this afternoon to post it. Thank you so much for your prayers.

Okay y'all. Grab a hanky and pull out a box of kleenexes. I hate to do this to you but I've been lying awake half the night worrying about my sister Shannon's biopsy today, and I've just had something laid on my heart that I must share with you. This is the story of my own biopsy. It isn't particularly flattering of me and is one of my "darker moments," but I believe it needs to be said especially because it shows how much God has worked on my heart in this last month.

On Thursday January 8 I went in for my mammogram and ultrasound. No sooner had the tech done the ultrasound than a Radiologist appeared. He showed me a normal mammogram with several lymph nodes that looked pea sized. My single node looked like a big old ping pong ball. He took one look at my ultrasound and announced "That enlarged lymph node was not caused by a dislocated shoulder." I expected him to add "in my opinion" or "it is unlikely" but he did no such thing. He acted certain that I had cancer. This made me mad. "Who does he think he is anyway?" I wondered. He striked me as being arrogant, unsympathetic. I really wanted to be optomistic. I thought I'd give him a chance to redeem himself and so I asked "Just so my mind doesn't run away with me, couldn't that enlarged node be caused by an infection or some other possibility?" He looked me straight in the eye and simply said "No."

I am sure he tried to soften the blow after that but the truth is I did not hear it. I only remember him saying something about doing a biopsy the following Wednesday and how a nurse would follow up with me and answer any other questions I had later in the day.

First thing I did after the biopsy was go and see my parents. Everyone had to hear about this "insensitive doctor." Before the day was out the entire Booth & Osborne clans were convinced I had run into the worst doctor ever. Randy even complained to our family doctor who calmed us by saying the Radiologist couldn't know "for sure" and that he was probably just saying the worst to "cover himself."

A few hours after the ultrasound a nurse did call. I was in the dressing room at Stein Mart. (Yes, when I got bad news I went shopping). I complained about having to wait almost a week to do the biopsy. She was very comforting and told me that most women (who were about to restart their their monthly cycle like me) have to wait 2 weeks because it messes with the results. She said the doctor was making an "exception" for me. I did not like being an exception. Through all of this I decided in my mind that CANCER WAS NOT THE PROBLEM. THE DOCTOR WAS THE PROBLEM and that is how I coped for the next week. I did not even tell friends or ask them to pray for me because I'd already decided THAT doctor was WRONG.

On January 16th, I started the day with an MRI. I can honestly say it was one of the weirdest experiences I'd ever had but I will save the details of that for another day. When I came for the biopsy, I was greeted by the nurse I had talked with on the phone. Her name was Julie and she was wonderful. She gave me a warm robe to wear. She must have offerred me a drink and snacks three or four times as she took my vital signs. She chatted with me, distracted me and calmed me down.

When the doctor came in to the biopsy room I was lying on the table. There was an ultrasound tech and student tech already there. I immediately asked him how my MRI results looked. Again he did not sugar coat anything. He said "There are enhancements on both sides but those on the left are more worrisome and suspicious." It was then that I "got it." I said "So you believe I have 'it' in the left side and in the right side I do not have 'it'." He never used the word "cancer." I never used the word "cancer" but from that moment on I (and everyone in that room) knew that I had cancer.I don't blame the doctor for being upfront with me now. I realize he wanted me to stop grasping at false hope so I could understand the reality of what I was up against and deal with it.

The biopsy really did not hurt (so please if you ever have one, take heart). They use numbing medicine. The worst part for me was spending the next 2 and 1/2 hours on that table, being poked and prodded as they took 15 tissue samples knowing the whole time I had cancer. I didn't want to "make a scene" and so I held back the tears and felt completely, utterly alone. Randy couldn't help me. My parents, my sisters couldn't help me. And you know it did not even occur to me to pray at that moment so that God could help me?

But you know He did. As soon as I left the biopsy, Julie was there again. I just let it all out. She hugged me. She told me that she could tell I was a "woman of faith" and that God would get me through it. She kept saying He would get me through it. To make myself feel better I asked her if she'd seen people alot worse off than I was. (And wasn't that a terrible and selfish thing to ask?!) She said she had and that made me feel better (again not very flattering on my part). She took me out to the waiting room where Randy was. She kept checking on us until I was able to leave and she left me assured that she was already praying for me. She called me and sent me a card a few days later. I know deep down she is still praying for me.

And so I've decided when the first round of breast cancer shirts come in, I want to take them to Julie. I'm going to attach a business card with my blog address on them using breast cancer pins and I am going to ask her to give them out to the women she meets that need them. I know she will be an angel to them just as she was to me. So are you crying yet? Can you see though what a difference God has made in my heart just in the past month? Thanks for listening. Lots of love,

Kerry