I know I was guilty of leaving you all hanging on Friday so here (as Paul Harvey says) is "the rest of the story"...
Just as I had the three previous nights, I woke up the fourth night at exactly 2 in the morning. This was Saturday night. Although I knew I had cancer at the biopsy Wednesday I was not "officially" diagnosed until Friday, so this was the day after I emailed all my friends and notified everyone. In other words, the amount of people praying for me had just skyrocketed in those 24 hours.
The neat thing is that the first thought I had when I woke up this time was not "where is the cancer now?" or "how far has it spread?" as I had the other nights. I woke up instead with a feeling of complete and utter peace. An inner voice immediately told me that everything was going to be alright. I felt as if I was being held by some invisible arms. I then realized that I was totally basked in moonlight. Randy was right next to me (and sleeping closest to the window). The moonlight completely enveloped me but not him. Now our window has shades that were completely drawn y'all. I am still trying to figure out how this could have happened. The shades do not cover about 1/4 of an inch of that window and from that tiny sliver all this light came through. Not once in 10 years sleeping in the same bed in the same room had I ever been basked in moonlight before. I turned over and fell right back asleep. Isn't that beautiful?
This weekend I had a wonderful conversation with a gal named Tiffany at the Pep Moms retreat about all the "conicidences" we've both experienced in our lives. She called these "Godincidences." I truly believe that fourth night being basked in moonlight was a Godincidence.
The chemo makes me feel dry from the inside out (my skin, my nose, my mouth) but generally I am doing well. I had a scare early on in the weekend and had to call the doctor at 2 am in the morning. Apparently the chemo medicine has "put my ovaries into a state of shock" and I have started bleeding. My doctor reassured me that this is "normal" and should pass in a few days. I am very blessed in my care. I have called my doctor twice during "off hours" and she's always been right there to help. It is strange though what becomes "normal" isn't it? There are foods I ate a week ago that I will not touch now because of how they will affect me.
As we begin a new week, please pray for health in my family. The doctor prescribed me iron pills to boost my immunity which is now somewhat depleted by the chemo. Leslie woke up this morning with a virus and strange rash on her back. She doesn't have a fever. The pediatrician said it may just go away. I am hoping it does. This is usually the time of year when my family gets the sickest, so I would really appreciate the prayers for our health.
I can't wait to share with you more tomorrow about the Pep Moms retreat and more "Godincidinces" that I have experienced. Have a blessed Sunday. Lots of love,
Kerry
Kerry,
ReplyDeleteI got chills as I read about the moonlight that surrounded you. That is amazing! I hope Leslie gets better real soon! I'm glad you were able to go to the PEP mom's retreat. I will pray for your families health as we approach this time of year for sickness. I can't wait to hear more about your retreat.
Love,
Brooke :)
Kerry,
ReplyDeleteThat is such a great story. I am always amazed at what God can use to speak to His children. He can use other people, a sunset, a Godincidence, or simply a snow flake.
I think God uses these events to show us how He is working in our lives. I was reading Psalm 105, "Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what He has done. Sing to Him, sing praise to Him; tell of all His wonderful acts. Glory in His holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and his strength; seek His face always. What amazes me is that God is seeking us, even when we are too preoccupied to consciously seek Him.
I went to church this morning and everyone was asking about you. It was really nice.
We will continue to pray over the chemotherapy and its effects on your health. We will pray that you will be able to continue your schedule and the activities you and your kids enjoy. We will also pray that Leslie feels better soon. Maybe if she is sick, we can finally beat her in the boxing game!
How much iron did they give you? You're not going to start running marathons, are you?
What do shocked ovaries look like? (I had to ask.)
I love you so much, Kerry. You are doing such a great job! Hang in there!
With love,
Mitzi
Kerry,
ReplyDeleteFirst, I want you to know what an impact you've made in my life. I am presently in a season of life in which a daily shower is considered a mighty victory. I started writing a response to this post around 1pm, but due to a few adorable interruptions, I am now finishing these thoughts around 12am. To say the least, I am busy these days, and yet I am compelled to hear your latest milestone on this journey. I first began reading your blog to support and if possible encourage you, but I now realize God has such bigger plans! What a blessing it is for me. I am not the only one who has said this, so I shall say it for all of us once again, "YOU, KERRY, ARE INSPIRATION!"
God made a miracle when He made you. Your honesty, courage, hope, and genuine passion for the Lord is contagious! Plus, absolutely, no one has ever, ever convinced me housework can be a beautiful thing until now:-)
Kerry, I believe something amazing is happening to you right now. I believe a one hundredfold blessing is coming your way. (I'll explain this in an email to your sister, Mitzi. Hopefully she can forward it to you.) Sometimes God gives the few a glimpse of His supernatural glory and they begin to shine as a reflection of Him.
You talked about a spiritual attack. Someone once told me the enemy is very real and he knows what fear buttons to push in us. He will use whatever tactics he needs to undo us. Yet, he is a horrible failure when it comes to God's children. So, with them, he tries even harder. Do not be afraid, dear one. "Do not be afraid," God calls out to us.
I think attacks come right before, a mighty assignment. Isn't it amazing how day by day He is revealing His plans to you! He has chosen, YOU. He knew all along, how many you would touch, how many you would help shape during this one segment of your life. He knew he could count on you, he designed it in you! How awesome is that!
And that light, wow! It gave me chills just to read about it. That was a mere reflection of His glory, a glimpse given to you, a gift, a blessing. It is what, we, Christians long for: to have a visible, tangible experience with the Almighty God. He is cradling you in the palm of His hand, the very same one He engraved your name upon! Praise God!
That light was not only enveloping you in comfort to provide you with peace, but also, I believe, you, too, were shining. The moon in but a reflection of the sun. By the way, do you realize the full moon is not expected until tomorrow night, yet God chose to bask you with a unexplainable, supernatural light. What an Amazing God we have!
I am blessed by your testimony.
Joyce
P.S. Did they test Leslie for Strep? I only say this because my son, David, broke out into hives recently. He did not have fever or redness in his throat, but he tested positive. I never realized it was a symptom. The Pediatrician also told me a sore calf or hip could be a symptom of Strep. He happened to break his leg the same week, so we ended up having to draw blood unnecessarily:-(
I'll pray Leslie gets well soon. Aveeno bath may help.
Kerry, I just read your posting for Sunday, and it is truly just AWESOME. I mean God is really using you to touch other people's lives, and believe me, you have touched mine.
ReplyDeleteI thought about what you said about the moonlight coming through your window, and covering your body, but not Randys. Its things like that, that send a chill up my spine. I wouldn't even want to amagine how many lives you have changed through God working through you. I know last night I was having a terrible dream, and all of a sudden I just felt someone lift my left arm as if to wake me from the dream (which it did). I first thought it could have been my husband, but he was turned with his back to me. I knew then that it was God who touched me, and woke me from that horrible dream. I went back to sleep after thanking God for what He did. Sometimes I take too many coincidinces, that I am sure are Godincidinces.
I am praying for you, and praying that Leslie, and the rest of your family will stay healthy.
Kerry, Isn't God just AMAZING!!! I have a story too when God showed me his mercy and grace. I dont want to really get into too many details but it was during my 1st miscarriage. I was praying that God would just give me some sort of sign to let me know that He was hearing me and I needed to know if I was going to keep my baby. This is going to sound a little strange - I prayed that some leaves would fall off of the trees in our back yard. The wind was blowing like crazy and it was fall. As the wind blew and blew no leaves that I could see were falling but all of a sudden the sun came out. It had been a very gloomy day. I felt God speaking through that incredibly bright sunshine. The answer was no. I wasn't going to keep the baby but everything was going to be ok. Now 3 kids later -Yes everything is ok. Everytime I just need to hear from God all I do is look outside! Even in the summer I will see leaves fall off of the trees. Sometime I'll have Jim tell you his amazing story when God spoke (actually through a vision)to him. Our pastor spoke yesterday on how our job is really to open ourselves to God and ask him to use us to fulfill His purpose. I believe that when we do this He reveals Himself in ways we cannot begin to explain or understand. Kerry may He continue to bath you in that beautiful moonlight. You seem to have asked that question - OK God what is my assignment. Im still praying everyday for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteHugs!!!!
Renee