Dear prayer warriors,
The chemo is starting to have its effect. I've been having heartburn (which is related to the nausea), fatigue and bone pain. Except for a couple of hours last night it has not slowed me down too much. I have just been forced to take it a little easier today. Please pray that the side effects do not worsen.
Now for an interesting story. On that Friday I was diagnosed, the first doctor I saw described the enlarged lymph node(s) under my arm as a big sponge that soaked up the cancer, keeping it from spreading as long as it could. I have now affectionately begun calling my big ol' lymph node(s) Sponge Bob. (No offense to the cartoon. It is silly I know but it makes me smile in spite of myself). The last two days the numbness in my arm has been better. I am hopeful that the tumors and Sponge Bob are already starting to shrink. The lymph nodes will now hereafter be referred to as Sponge Bob,so don't be surprised if you see his name pop up every so often.
In addition, I have an announcement to make on our wig color poll. Drumroll please.....
Brunette was the winning wig color and it is now on order!! It was a very close poll. If you voted for another color, don't be disappointed. Several of you suggested I should not limit myself to any one color and I am all for that. This may be the first of several wigs I will be sporting in the upcoming year. :)
Anyway, with one poll at an end, I thought it would be fun to start another. I am calling it "Name My Nodules." A quirky poll it will be but all in good fun. You see on my left breast there are actually four cancerous spots or nodules. The largest is about 1.3 cm and they collectively are about 4 cm. I come from a family where we name everything (even our cars). Yes we have had cars named everything from Fluffy, to Zippadee to Boot Scoot Boogie, and so it seems only natural to name those blasted nodules. I had thought about some possible names like "the rockettes" or "Sly and the Family Stone" but I know you clever blog watchers out there could do much better. So, please keep your comments coming!!! (They are a daily encouragement to me) and put in there your suggestions for nodule names. The funnier the better. In a few days we will have another poll going.
Thanks again for your prayers and support. God, and all of you, are being so good to me. Lots of love,
Kerry
Kerry,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you are experiencing some side effects. I am thankful that they are not too severe right now. I am glad to see that the chemo has not affected your sense of humor! I think it is funny that you have named your lymph node Sponge Bob. As for naming your nodules, you could always stay with the Sponge Bob theme. Sponge Bob has many friends in Bikini Bottom so you could name the nodules the Bikini Bottom Bunch! As for the brunette wig, I think you will look beautiful! Kerry, I am glad that you can laugh and joke during such a trying time in your life. Laughter really is good medicine for all of us. We love you and continue to pray diligently for you.
Love,
Shelly
Girl, from somebody who has NO creativity, you do not want me naming the lumps. My dogs are Big Dog, Little Dog, White Dog (who ironically, was named White Dog before I got him (It was fate.)) and Cotton (who was named before I got him.) Caleb was Rafe's middle name, and I loved him so much that I wanted to name my second kid Caleb II. I sensibly named him Joshua though, (because it goes with Caleb....once again, no creativity.) Rafe named the 3rd kid. My vote, I guess, from ME, would have to be Big Lump, Middle Lump, Little Lumb, and Micro Lump. But of course, that is not even funny, so I will have to think about that some more. I am praying for you Kerry.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Amy
Kerry,
ReplyDeleteYou are not going to get me to name anything else! The last time I named the car Fluffy (as a joke) and you are still making fun of me 20 years later (not that I am bitter or anything). Seriously, I will think on it. I will ask the boys because they always come up with something entertaining.
Kerry, I am sorry that you are tired. You don't have time to be tired. We Booth women have stuff to do! I am praying that your body will adjust to the chemotherapy and you will be able to keep going, at least for part of the time. Remember, you will get past this and you will feel better.
I am glad you are going Burnette. I was a little concerned about the Blondes having more fun. I was afraid if you went Blonde you might get arrested (of course, you would be misunderstood). Shannon and I would need to come and bail you out, and I have a feeling that would be quite the scene. I think you should definitely stay Burnette. It is safer and we won't have to think of some way to tell our parents or husbands, or children . . . .
I love you so much, Kerry, and am praying so hard for you. You are such a special, important person. We will all get through this together.
Love,
Mitzi
Hi Kerry,
ReplyDeleteJust caught up on your blogs and am glad to hear that your side effects have not been too severe. I will continue to pray that God will give you the strength you need each day as you go through the Chemo and every day after that.
Whatever color you choose you will be beautiful and I can't wait to see the wig.
I am trying to get my creative juices flowing, on the names but I have to tell you girl that is not one of my strong points.
I just wanted to let you know that I continue to uplift you in my prayers and heart and you are doing absolutely wonderful. We love you here in King George. Please let Shannon know she is our thoughts and prayers as well.
Love
Lorrie
Kerry--I know your sister, Shannon, from exercise class. I haven't been there in several months because of a shoulder injury so this is the first I've heard about your cancer. I was amazed when I saw your picture to see how much you look like your sister--both so pretty. My sister was diagnosed one year ago this week with ovarian cancer, stage 3C. Today she is at the Cancer Centers of America in Chicago and they will give her their plan for how to battle this cancer. Her blog reads much like yours in that she knows Who is in control of all things to include her life. I want you to know that every time I pray for her (which is almost constantly) I will pray for you, for Shannon and your family. Here is a version of Isiah 43 that I've cherished since I found out about my sister. "Listen to the Lord who created you. The One who formed you says, 'Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. You are precious to Me. You are honored, and I love you."
ReplyDeleteEsther
Hi Kerry, you are indeed an amazing person. I wish everyone who has cancer could read your blog. Your attitude, your faith, your humor, your positive attitude. you are indeed a very
ReplyDeleteextraordinary person. Please know that we keep you in all our prayers, and have you on our church prayer list, and I'm putting you on my brothers prayer list, who is Pastor of West Gantt First Baptist Church in Greenville, SC, and I have two other church's to add your name
too. I'm praying that the side affects from the chemo treatments won't get any worse. You
lift my spirits each time I read your blog. I have very severe diabetes, and on an insulin pump. God truly blesses me each day. I have a wonderful, loving, christian husband, who really looks after me. Keep up your good spirits Kerry. You are indeed a blessing.
Kerry,
ReplyDeleteMy pastor recently read something that I want to share with you. Sorry that this will be a really long post but this really touched me. It was writtn by John Piper.
1. You will waste your cancer if you do not believe it is designed for you by God.
It will not do to say that God only uses our cancer but does not design it. What God permits, he permits for a reason. And that reason is his design. If God foresees molecular developments becoming cancer, he can stop it or not. If he does not, he has a purpose. Since he is infinitely wise, it is right to call this purpose a design. Satan is real and causes many pleasures and pains. But he is not ultimate. So when he strikes Job with boils (Job 2:7), Job attributes it ultimately to God (2:10) and the inspired writer agrees: “They . . . comforted him for all the evil that the Lord had brought upon him” (Job 42:11). If you don’t believe your cancer is designed for you by God, you will waste it.
2. You will waste your cancer if you believe it is a curse and not a gift.
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us” (Galatians 3:13). “There is no enchantment against Jacob, no divination against Israel” (Numbers 23:23). “The Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11).
3. You will waste your cancer if you seek comfort from your odds rather than from God.
The design of God in your cancer is not to train you in the rationalistic, human calculation of odds. The world gets comfort from their odds. Not Christians. Some count their chariots (percentages of survival) and some count their horses (side effects of treatment), but we trust in the name of the Lord our God (Psalm 20:7). God’s design is clear from 2 Corinthians 1:9, “We felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.” The aim of God in your cancer (among a thousand other good things) is to knock props out from under our hearts so that we rely utterly on him.
4. You will waste your cancer if you refuse to think about death.
We will all die, if Jesus postpones his return. Not to think about what it will be like to leave this life and meet God is folly. Ecclesiastes 7:2 says, “It is better to go to the house of mourning [a funeral] than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart.” How can you lay it to heart if you won’t think about it? Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Numbering your days means thinking about how few there are and that they will end. How will you get a heart of wisdom if you refuse to think about this? What a waste, if we do not think about death.
5. You will waste your cancer if you think that “beating” cancer means staying alive rather than cherishing Christ.
Satan’s and God’s designs in your cancer are not the same. Satan designs to destroy your love for Christ. God designs to deepen your love for Christ. Cancer does not win if you die. It wins if you fail to cherish Christ. God’s design is to wean you off the breast of the world and feast you on the sufficiency of Christ. It is meant to help you say and feel, “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” And to know that therefore, “To live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 3:8; 1:21).
6. You will waste your cancer if you spend too much time reading about cancer and not enough time reading about God.
It is not wrong to know about cancer. Ignorance is not a virtue. But the lure to know more and more and the lack of zeal to know God more and more is symptomatic of unbelief. Cancer is meant to waken us to the reality of God. It is meant to put feeling and force behind the command, “Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord” (Hosea 6:3). It is meant to waken us to the truth of Daniel 11:32, “The people who know their God shall stand firm and take action.” It is meant to make unshakable, indestructible oak trees out of us: “His delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers” (Psalm 1:2). What a waste of cancer if we read day and night about cancer and not about God.
7. You will waste your cancer if you let it drive you into solitude instead of deepen your relationships with manifest affection.
When Epaphroditus brought the gifts to Paul sent by the Philippian church he became ill and almost died. Paul tells the Philippians, “He has been longing for you all and has been distressed because you heard that he was ill” (Philippians 2:26-27). What an amazing response! It does not say they were distressed that he was ill, but that he was distressed because they heard he was ill. That is the kind of heart God is aiming to create with cancer: a deeply affectionate, caring heart for people. Don’t waste your cancer by retreating into yourself.
8. You will waste your cancer if you grieve as those who have no hope.
Paul used this phrase in relation to those whose loved ones had died: “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). There is a grief at death. Even for the believer who dies, there is temporary loss—loss of body, and loss of loved ones here, and loss of earthly ministry. But the grief is different—it is permeated with hope. “We would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:8). Don’t waste your cancer grieving as those who don’t have this hope.
9. You will waste your cancer if you treat sin as casually as before.
Are your besetting sins as attractive as they were before you had cancer? If so you are wasting your cancer. Cancer is designed to destroy the appetite for sin. Pride, greed, lust, hatred, unforgiveness, impatience, laziness, procrastination—all these are the adversaries that cancer is meant to attack. Don’t just think of battling against cancer. Also think of battling with cancer. All these things are worse enemies than cancer. Don’t waste the power of cancer to crush these foes. Let the presence of eternity make the sins of time look as futile as they really are. “What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?” (Luke 9:25).
10. You will waste your cancer if you fail to use it as a means of witness to the truth and glory of Christ.
Christians are never anywhere by divine accident. There are reasons for why we wind up where we do. Consider what Jesus said about painful, unplanned circumstances: “They will lay their hands on you and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors for my name’s sake. This will be your opportunity to bear witness” (Luke 21:12 -13). So it is with cancer. This will be an opportunity to bear witness. Christ is infinitely worthy. Here is a golden opportunity to show that he is worth more than life. Don’t waste it.
Remember you are not left alone. You will have the help you need. “My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).
Pastor John
Kerry...I love you.....You continue to amaze me with your strength! You are truly a testimony to what Christ is in the heart of a believer. Keep fightin babe and I'll keep prayin!
Amanda
Kerry-
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you and your family every day, and so will the rest of my family in Florida. God is with you every day, and as difficult as this journey will be for you, He never gives us what we can't handle. God worked a miracle last week for my boyfriend here in NYC and I know He will for you as well. Prayer is such a strong tool and you have lots of people praying for you everywhere.
As far as names, I am so not creative, but I do like the idea of the spongebob theme....
and i think you will be a beautiful brunette... but as a blonde, we do have more fun (hehe), in case you want to change up the color a little bit...
i miss you and i will be praying!!
-Tammy
Kerry, found your blog from a friend of mine. I am a 14 month survivor, treated at UT by Dr. Bell and Dr. Hanna. I'm a 2b with 1 positive lymph node. Had 7 chemos, lumpectomy with 15 nodes removed and 33 radiation treatments. I've been "done" with everything since July 31st. Would love to meet you and talk to you. Feel free to email me at rondafranklin67@comcast.net
ReplyDeleteKerry, me again. Read a little more of your blog. Ask for Magic Mouthwash, really helps with the sore mouth. Also, you can purchase PREVENTION, over the counter at Walgreens, it's made specifically for chemo patients and I loved it! Very helpful. Also, I would get cracks in the corners of my mouth where the top lip joins with the bottom and taking a daily B vitamin helped with those as well as putting Neosporin on the sores. Please email me and I can call you! Take care, Ronda
ReplyDeleteKerry, you are indeed a remarkable person. I think you probably know that Philippians 4:13 is my favorite Bible verse, "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." You are living that verse. You are depending upon God to strengthen you. Not only is He giving you strenght, but He is blessing so many people through you. I check your blog regularly to see if there are any new posts. Each and everyone lifts my heart so. Many people have commented to me what your writings and faith mean to them. We love you so.
ReplyDeleteNana